I wish I could pretend I didn't watch the Jon & Kate Plus 8 season premiere. Sadly, my incurable fascination and general affection for them and their kids sucked me right in.
I used to love the show. Seriously loved. I even let my two small kids watch it with me. Good clean entertainment for them. And watching them weather the chaos of their house always made me think my life was more doable.
I didn't give up watching the show because I didn't like them anymore. I just got tired of watching the extended infomercial for all the free crap they were getting. You know, Here's the awesome 5 star hotel we stayed at in San Diego that's located on such and such street and you can make reservations with them by calling this number and, gee, it was just so nice of them to invite us. And oh, yeah, thanks for the free tickets tickets to Legoland and the backstage tour at the zoo and the box seats to the baseball game and the remote controlled cars and the Fischer Price playhouses and the teeth bleaching and the hair transplants and the giant wads of cash everyone shoves in our wallet every time we breathe.
I didn't begrudge them any of the free stuff. It just didn't interest me to watch. The kids and the interaction and the daily grind of parenting without your head exploding is what I liked. But I guess I still cared about them. Because I felt like I'd been in their living room and knew them. I'm also so deluded I thought they were a happy family. So anyway, I guess I watched the season premier hoping they'd give us some hope that despite difficult times they're going to work through their problems and get through this. Because they're a family and they're in this together like stupid intro used to say. Wrong.
Instead we got to listen to Kate repeatedly complain about the paparazzi. Jon's come right out and said he doesn't really want to do the show anymore. It feels like he's sort of in it against his will at this point so I guess I'm willing to let him complain a little bit about them stalking him. But I'm not interested in listening to Kate complain even for a second. She never complains about the freebies, the opportunities to write books or the money. The price tag that comes with those things is the media attention. I just don't feel sorry for her. I do however feel sorry for the kids. Because their mother worries about them mentioning the paparazzi at school because that would be weird. And yet, it's not weird that their trip to Party City was videotaped and everyone was clearly dressed up to make a big event out of it. I can't figure out why one is more weird than the other.
I felt very, very sad at the end of the show. Sad for a variety of reasons.
First, I thought it was clear Kate's the one that's still interested in doing the show. She was the one discussing possible divorce and she's the one crying and discussing the nature of their problems. Jon mostly just apologized and discussed the birthday party.
Second, I hope they aren't trying to ease us into the post divorce version of the show. No way the show keeps going after a divorce. Kate is not nearly as interesting as she thinks she is. Her laugh has become an annoying cackle and I'm starting to question her parenting decisions. I like Jon. I've always liked Jon. He seems nice and normal. In the past when Kate would say stupid things like let's take the kids to a bakery to make cupcakes but not let them eat the cupcakes because they'd get dirty, Jon was the voice of reason saying that makes no sense.
Third, as I've mentioned, I believe Aunt Jodi. Believing Aunt Jodi means I don't view Kate as the one that's been done wrong. Yeah, she's been publicly humiliated. But if you were arrogant enough to think you could continue the show pretending to still be a happy family, I don't feel bad that you got caught. Maybe you should just be honest. But even if I didn't believe Aunt Jodi, I think I'd still sort of stick up for Jon. Mostly because Kate appears intent on doing what she wants regardless of what he wants. He seems so trapped. And he's trapped at home all day with 8 kids no less. I don't care that Kate felt the need to tell us he has help with kids. When one parent travels, it puts a heavy burden on the other parent. Even with help. Even if the nanny's great. I feel for Jon. I also feel for him because I think your wife shouldn't belittle you. Especially not on television. Even after I stopped watching the show several months ago, I'd still see periodic clips of the show on The Soup where Jon became a running joke for having a wenchy wife that liked to point out all his grammatical errors. That makes me sad. The world is full of plenty of people to tear you down. Your spouse shouldn't be one of them.
Fourth, if her frequent travel is causing stress in her marriage, I don't understand why she doesn't just choose to stay home more. I'm not saying she has to give up her job. I'm just saying it's a choice she's making and she should own it instead of acting like she has to travel. They are not financially strapped for cash. They could afford to let her scale back.
Fifth, Alexis is my favorite one of the kids. No, Aaden. Wait, maybe Joel. No, definitely Alexis.
Sixth, I'm starting to think I need to stop having a favorite kid because maybe if everyone stopped having a favorite kid they'd stop watching the show and if everyone stopped watching the show they'd cancel it and maybe them canceling the show would be the right thing to do for everyone including my favorite kids.
5.21.2009
Nobody tell her mother I let them share a water bottle
I joined the newest Kindergartener and her class on a field trip to the zoo this week. I'll confess my memories of field trips are vague at best but I don't recall there being quite so many parents along for the ride. I think this is the sort of problem teachers must love to have but it seemed a little odd that only 3 kids out of 17 didn't have at least one parent present. I say "at least one" because 2 kids actually had both parents there. Another kid had a parent and an aunt there.
And of the kids with parents there, six of them didn't even ride in the van with the class either. They rode to the zoo with their parents instead. The teacher asked me if the newest Kindergartner would be riding in the van and I was all, Duh. If she doesn't ride in the van, she doesn't have a van color to talk about later over dinner. Make way for my kid on the van, people.
Once at the zoo, everyone pretty much headed off in different directions. I guess in my head I thought we were going to traipse around in one big mob. That's the sort of stupid simplistic crap I often conjure up in my pea brain. In reality, there were some small clusters of parents and kids but it was tough to stay together when five year olds have such a wide range of attention spans that vary even more depending on the animal they're looking at.
On top of that, I was assigned one of the parentless kids and I quickly gave up attempting to stay with anyone else opting instead to focus on not losing someone else's baby.
I considered it a successful day when I delivered the parentless kid back to the school van in one piece. I'm hoping she tells her mother about all the educational discussions we had about the different animals and how I always made sure she washed her hands after we touched the animals. On the other hand, I'm hoping she doesn't tell her mother about how I offered to take her to the hospital for stitches everytime she showed me the invisible scrape on her knee she periodically claimed impaired her ability to walk when she was tired of walking. It'd also be sort of awesome if she skipped the part about how I let her and the newest Kindergartener share the same water bottle. I know. The germs! The horror! But it was hot and the kid was thirsty and bottles of water cost $4. But again, it'd be awesome if she could just leave that out of her play by play retelling of her day.
I did not, however, leave it out of the play by play I subjected my husband that night. The one that included my thoughtful analysis about the importance of the van ride. It may or may not have gone along the lines of, "If people are going to drive their own cars and tour the zoo separately, I start to think maybe we should all just take our kids to the zoo on Saturday." Seriously, why would you want to skip the van ride? Although, from me to you, try to get a seat in the back of the van. Getting stuck sitting directly behind your kid's teacher limits your ability to talk about her. Not that I'd have anything I'd want to talk about like say an annoying Indian headband project she didn't think we got right the first time and suggested we do again. I'm just saying the back of the van would be a better place to sit if you did.
And of the kids with parents there, six of them didn't even ride in the van with the class either. They rode to the zoo with their parents instead. The teacher asked me if the newest Kindergartner would be riding in the van and I was all, Duh. If she doesn't ride in the van, she doesn't have a van color to talk about later over dinner. Make way for my kid on the van, people.
Once at the zoo, everyone pretty much headed off in different directions. I guess in my head I thought we were going to traipse around in one big mob. That's the sort of stupid simplistic crap I often conjure up in my pea brain. In reality, there were some small clusters of parents and kids but it was tough to stay together when five year olds have such a wide range of attention spans that vary even more depending on the animal they're looking at.
On top of that, I was assigned one of the parentless kids and I quickly gave up attempting to stay with anyone else opting instead to focus on not losing someone else's baby.
I considered it a successful day when I delivered the parentless kid back to the school van in one piece. I'm hoping she tells her mother about all the educational discussions we had about the different animals and how I always made sure she washed her hands after we touched the animals. On the other hand, I'm hoping she doesn't tell her mother about how I offered to take her to the hospital for stitches everytime she showed me the invisible scrape on her knee she periodically claimed impaired her ability to walk when she was tired of walking. It'd also be sort of awesome if she skipped the part about how I let her and the newest Kindergartener share the same water bottle. I know. The germs! The horror! But it was hot and the kid was thirsty and bottles of water cost $4. But again, it'd be awesome if she could just leave that out of her play by play retelling of her day.
I did not, however, leave it out of the play by play I subjected my husband that night. The one that included my thoughtful analysis about the importance of the van ride. It may or may not have gone along the lines of, "If people are going to drive their own cars and tour the zoo separately, I start to think maybe we should all just take our kids to the zoo on Saturday." Seriously, why would you want to skip the van ride? Although, from me to you, try to get a seat in the back of the van. Getting stuck sitting directly behind your kid's teacher limits your ability to talk about her. Not that I'd have anything I'd want to talk about like say an annoying Indian headband project she didn't think we got right the first time and suggested we do again. I'm just saying the back of the van would be a better place to sit if you did.
5.16.2009
Signs that I am stupid
1. I was actually kind of surprised by the whole Jon & Kate Plus 8 photos with another woman/potential divorce crap. Although I'd given up watching the show several months ago after deciding all the freebie talk was too much for me, my jaw still sort of fell open when I saw the photos of Jon and some chick. Then, the People magazine cover story about Kate amazed me too. But it wasn't until I watched the interview with Uncle Kevin and Aunt Jodi that I decided it was all true. You know, sweet and kind Aunt Jodi that went to Oprah with them and lived around the corner and watched all the little kids on Friday mornings just to give Kate a break. She also once gave the little kids gum which Kate and Jon seemed to consider the stupidest decision ever made except I'm pretty sure I'd have let them have the gum too so whatever. I'm also the sort of person that would never take 8 kids to the Crayola factory and not let them use the markers so what do I know. Anyway, I totally believe Aunt Jodi. I do. And then it all made me sad. They just renewed their wedding vows! What the hell.
2. I googled "Jon & Kate Plus 8 dad girlfriend photos."
3. I don't plan to watch I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here but I cannot tell a lie. I may have to tune in occasionally if Spencer has to lay in a box of rats or something.
4. I just do not enjoy Adam Lambert as much as other people appear to. I'm not saying he's not talented. I'm just saying I'm not into him. Maybe it's the eye liner. Maybe it's that he comes across more Broadway than rock star. But I like Danny better.
5. I was sort of bummed Coach didn't win immunity on Survivor. I find him just as annoying and self absorbed as the next person but he's also oddly fascinating in that he doesn't seem to register how other people see him. And, come on, how funny would it have been to force the other people to live with him longer?
6. I've been watching Daisy of Love. I know. Enough said.
2. I googled "Jon & Kate Plus 8 dad girlfriend photos."
3. I don't plan to watch I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here but I cannot tell a lie. I may have to tune in occasionally if Spencer has to lay in a box of rats or something.
4. I just do not enjoy Adam Lambert as much as other people appear to. I'm not saying he's not talented. I'm just saying I'm not into him. Maybe it's the eye liner. Maybe it's that he comes across more Broadway than rock star. But I like Danny better.
5. I was sort of bummed Coach didn't win immunity on Survivor. I find him just as annoying and self absorbed as the next person but he's also oddly fascinating in that he doesn't seem to register how other people see him. And, come on, how funny would it have been to force the other people to live with him longer?
6. I've been watching Daisy of Love. I know. Enough said.
5.02.2009
Books the Imaginary Book Club has read but failed to post about: Part 2
1. A Three Dog Life: Quiet thumbs up. But not an easy book to read. The husband has a traumatic brain injury. He doesn't die but he's never the same. And by "never the same" I mean he can't live at home or take care of himself. But his wife finds a way to still have a life with him. Made me wonder if I'd be able to do that. I'd like to think I would. I'd like to think my husband would. But, geez, is it hard to think about.
2. Mad Dash: Eh. I tried it because it was written by Patricia Gaffney. During my historical romance reading years, I read a book by her I liked so much I still remember it to this day. Cute and funny but romantic. I didn't like any of her other romance novels though. But for the record, that one's good.
3. The Pact: I didn't like the reasoning for the pact. I also suspected the reasoning early on. But it was still well written. Also a quick read.
4. The Honk and Holler Opening Soon: Slight thumbs up. Sweet but not great. I think it's charming when people can create a family for themselves out of otherwise strangers. But why do all the characters in Billie Letts' books have to have such funky names? Isn't anyone in Oklahoma named Joe or John?
5. Change of Heart: A guy on death row that wants to donate his heart to a little girl after he gets the death penalty. Thumbs up. Interesting characters and it kept me reading to find out what was going to happen next.
6. Mommy Tracked: Hated it. No really. Boring, predictable, and cliche characters.
7. While I Was Gone: Thumbs up. Such a well written portrait of a marriage. I felt like I'd sat at their kitchen table and watched them finish each other's sentences. The whole thing about her friends from her past didn't particularly interest me but the ending did.
8. Dry: About the author getting sober. It's not for everyone. For example, my husband would hate it. So would my mother. But I liked it. I'm not really sure why. I think I just like him and wish we could be friends.
9. Harvesting the Heart: My thumbs are neither up nor down on it. Either I'm burning out on Jodi Picoult or this was just an "Eh" book. It's about a woman that leaves her 3 month old baby to essentially soul search. That seems like an interesting plot but, eh. I didn't really sympathize with her because she just seemed to lack any self awareness. But I didn't really sympathize with the husband either because he just seemed so self absorbed. Eh.
10. The Perks of Being a Wallflower: Liked it. It's offbeat. The entire book is a series of letters written by a freshman in high school and you don't even know who he's writing to. But it really rings true like it was written by a teenager. Made me remember stupid things I used to write in my diary back in high school. You know. Like stupid drawn out crap about so and so talking to so and so and what my paranoid pea brain read into what they may or may not have said. Many was the diary entry I wrote analyzing someone walking by and innocently saying "Hello." I also enjoyed when the girls he knows all gave each other earrings for Christmas. I remember the careful selection process that went into selecting the right crappy fake gold earrings for each of my friends. The better the friend the better the earrings. "Better" mostly meaning it would take them longer to chip and turn green.
Other installments of the Imaginary Book Club:
Books the Imaginary Book Club has read but failed to post about Part 1
All the rest
2. Mad Dash: Eh. I tried it because it was written by Patricia Gaffney. During my historical romance reading years, I read a book by her I liked so much I still remember it to this day. Cute and funny but romantic. I didn't like any of her other romance novels though. But for the record, that one's good.
3. The Pact: I didn't like the reasoning for the pact. I also suspected the reasoning early on. But it was still well written. Also a quick read.
4. The Honk and Holler Opening Soon: Slight thumbs up. Sweet but not great. I think it's charming when people can create a family for themselves out of otherwise strangers. But why do all the characters in Billie Letts' books have to have such funky names? Isn't anyone in Oklahoma named Joe or John?
5. Change of Heart: A guy on death row that wants to donate his heart to a little girl after he gets the death penalty. Thumbs up. Interesting characters and it kept me reading to find out what was going to happen next.
6. Mommy Tracked: Hated it. No really. Boring, predictable, and cliche characters.
7. While I Was Gone: Thumbs up. Such a well written portrait of a marriage. I felt like I'd sat at their kitchen table and watched them finish each other's sentences. The whole thing about her friends from her past didn't particularly interest me but the ending did.
8. Dry: About the author getting sober. It's not for everyone. For example, my husband would hate it. So would my mother. But I liked it. I'm not really sure why. I think I just like him and wish we could be friends.
9. Harvesting the Heart: My thumbs are neither up nor down on it. Either I'm burning out on Jodi Picoult or this was just an "Eh" book. It's about a woman that leaves her 3 month old baby to essentially soul search. That seems like an interesting plot but, eh. I didn't really sympathize with her because she just seemed to lack any self awareness. But I didn't really sympathize with the husband either because he just seemed so self absorbed. Eh.
10. The Perks of Being a Wallflower: Liked it. It's offbeat. The entire book is a series of letters written by a freshman in high school and you don't even know who he's writing to. But it really rings true like it was written by a teenager. Made me remember stupid things I used to write in my diary back in high school. You know. Like stupid drawn out crap about so and so talking to so and so and what my paranoid pea brain read into what they may or may not have said. Many was the diary entry I wrote analyzing someone walking by and innocently saying "Hello." I also enjoyed when the girls he knows all gave each other earrings for Christmas. I remember the careful selection process that went into selecting the right crappy fake gold earrings for each of my friends. The better the friend the better the earrings. "Better" mostly meaning it would take them longer to chip and turn green.
Other installments of the Imaginary Book Club:
Books the Imaginary Book Club has read but failed to post about Part 1
All the rest
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
