Do not be alarmed by the one eyed squinter

Tuesday night I left my reading glasses sitting on a table in a restaurant. They were nowhere to be found when I realized my mistake several hours later.

My back up reading glasses only have one arm. I have my first born child to thank for that. In the two years since she broke them, I just never got around to getting a new back up pair. I would soon pay for this lapse in judgment. Because I'm lost without my reading glasses. Going to work without them is not an option. Unfortunately, not going to work really wasn't an option either. I was at the restaurant with coworkers when I lost the glasses. I was hoping someone picked them up but I wouldn't know if they did unless I went to work.

So I ended up going to work with the one armed glasses. I spent the whole morning whipping them off when people would stop by my office. I even started preemptively whipping them off when someone would walk near my door.

I finally left work early to get a new prescription and pick out frames. My goal being glasses before the end of the day. Except getting the new prescription included getting my eyes dilated. And getting my eyes dilated left me with double vision and a complete inability to focus. I've never had that happen before. I can't think of a more inconvenient day for random side effects. Because I still had to pick out frames. With blurry double vision.

By the time we got to EyeMasters to pick frames I was holding one eye closed to accommodate the double vision and putting my face 12 inches away from anything I wanted to focus on. So I'm walking up and down the rows and rows of frames leaning in squinting with one eye. I actually started putting frames on and just letting my husband tell me yes or no without even trying to look myself in a mirror. After we narrowed the field, I squinted as best I could to a final decision.

Then I put my sunglasses back on. Right there at the desk with the guy ringing up my bill. Because I was developing mind numbing light sensitivity by this time. My husband finally took my hand and led me out of the mall. I rode home with a towel over my head. Then I wore sunglasses at the dinner table. And I guess maybe in the bathtub too. With the lights off. But only til they fogged up. Because wearing fogged up sunglasses in the bathtub is just plain weird. I swear it all made perfect sense at the time.