My Year in Review 2009

I'm on my second year doing it. Go, me. Questions stolen fair and square from All & Sundry who does them every year:

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Left my kids for two whole weeks. Took the kids to Sesame Place. Watched my kid graduate from Kindergarten and start First Grade. Pretended to be the tooth fairy. Sheesh are these boring. I seriously need to try some new things. Can I count inventing Headband Night?

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Apparently one of my resolutions for this year needs to be to try some new things so I'll have a better answer for #1. I'm also planning to drop a few pounds. I know. Everyone says that. Whatever. And I didn't make any resolutions last year so there were no resolutions to keep.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. As always. My passport may very well expire without ever having been used.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A new house. A regular date night with a regular babysitter.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Kindergarten graduation. It was massive to me.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I've continued to do really well at work. I solidified my position as my boss' right hand. Except then she got moved. But even that led to something positive because my new boss was out of the office for over a month and I was the one picked to take his place the whole time. I liked being recognized as the obvious choice to fill his shoes but even more I just plain like being in charge. It was also good practice for the next two promotions I fully intend to get. It's just a matter of someone retiring or dying so they can get out of my way.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not walking more.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of colds. Scratchy throat, laryngitis and then full blow colds. Repeatedly.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Blackout curtains for the bedroom rock fairly hard. The Roku digital player that I bought to go with our Netflix subscription was above average awesome. But the laptop is by far the best. So. Handy.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? That captain that landed in the Hudson River. Seriously. You go guy. The kids that gave up the baby for adoption on 16 & Pregnant really lingered with me, too. Impressive.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The parents of the those same kids that gave up the baby for adoption on 16 & Pregnant. Like giving a baby up for adoption isn't hard enough already, why can't your parents just get with the program and support you? I started watching Teen Mom which is the show that follows up with a bunch of the kids later and their parents were still giving them a hard time about giving the baby up for adoption. But it's a done deal. They can't go back. So why the hell are you trying to make them feel guilty. Keep your mouth shut if you can't say anything nice.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The house and the kids school. Feeding and clothing our offspring was a pretty penny too.

15. What did you get really excited about?
I get pretty enthused about planning vacations, shopping for my kids for holidays and coming up with new ideas at work. I did all of those this year. But my daughter's Kindergarten graduation had me ridiculously excited.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? I Know You Want Me by Pittpull. It's a good thing tracks on your iPod don't wear out from frequent play.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder: Sadder. Nothing specific about it. I just don't think it's real when people act like they get happier and happier every year. Eventually that's just not legit. I think last year I was a little happier. Maybe I'm wrong. Whatever.
Thinner or fatter: Fatter
Richer or poorer: Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Taken the day off to goof off. Slept late more. Deposited my children at other people's homes and driven away until the next day.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinated getting things done. Waited around on my husband.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with family surrounded by shredded wrapping paper with dogs wandering by and children climbing into my lap.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
No. Already there and happily stalking him around the house. This answer isn't very exciting if you're married.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Currently, it's The Office. But Modern Family is really growing on me. And this season of Survivor was particularly good even though Russell got robbed. New shows I discovered and have been sucked into this year (thanks to Netflix!) include Mad Men, Dexter, Weeds and Entourage.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
I guess Middlesex. Really interesting. I also really liked The Middle Place, Love the One You're With, Dry and Swallow the Ocean.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
My taste in music is like a little slice of Wonder Bread if Wonder Bread was Top 40 radio. This shouldn't come as a surprise given that I only got an Ipod last year. Songs I bought on iTunes this year and played over and over and over and over again include the Pitbull song I mentioned above, Sober by Pink, Kelly Clarkson's My Life Would Suck Without You which I listened to approximately 379 times and Bad Romance by Lady Gaga which I've had trapped inside my head reverberating for the last 3 days and The Search is Over by Survivor which is in no way a musical discovery on my part but such a lovely song to listen to while aimlessly on the freeway.

26. What did you want and get?
A laptop.

27. What did you want and not get?
A new house.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It lingered with me for several days after I saw it. But The Hangover made me laugh out loud. Believe it or not my husband and I saw it in an actual movie theater and when we walked out into the afternoon sunlight it felt like it had changed our day from blah to yeah! I love when a movie does that.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
35. Took the day off. Spent the morning in my pajamas, visited my mom in the hospital for lunch, dinner out and cake with my husband and kids.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Selling our house.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
In order to describe my personal fashion concept I'd actually need a personal fashion concept. My life is one big personal fashion concept vaccuum. As an example, I currently spend 82% of my waking hours wearing some kind of black pants.

32. What kept you sane?
The lock on the bathroom door. And the little space heater I like to turn on so that people that like to have conversations through the door will go away. Speaking of which, that space heater broke last month and we got a new one that's practically silent. I'm sure that's a selling feature for 99% of the population but someone should tell the manufacturer that there should be a "drown out the racket your children produce" setting.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I'd say Brad Pitt except he currently has a shrub growing off his face which is sucking every last drop of desirability out of his body. I tend to have fleeting affections for celebrities based on having seen them in something recently therefore I currently like Daniel Craig (Just watched Casino Royale), Clive Owens (Just watched Duplicity) and Dane Cook (Just watched Isolated Incident and funny always ups the attractiveness ante).

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The economy. I feel lucky to have a good job.

35. Who did you miss?
Friends mostly. And my husband everytime he left the house for more than 3 hours. My brother also did a lengthy stretch without a visit and we all missed him a lot. And I'm not just saying that because I know he cyberstalks me via my blog.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Um.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Go on every field trip. Feed your kid on time. And as soon as things are clicking on all cylinders at work, the powers that be will feel the need to take one of the cylinders out and put it somewhere else. You won't realize how well your engine was operating until you get a new cylinder and it doesn't really fill the gap left by the other cylinder.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come." Norah Jones

The hidden secret to maximizing your bubble volume

The possibility exists that the cutest 3 year old in existence lives in my house:

I've been trying really hard not to eat him alive but there have been a couple close calls. It doesn't help that he's a world class cuddler and I'm a girl that enjoys some cuddle.

As if his mad cuddle skills weren't enough to help me fall even deeper into the rabbit hole of undying motherly devotion, he's also currently in the midst of a lovey dovey super sweet kid of the year phase that includes lots of random hugs and kisses. It also includes a lot of sitting in your lap, squeals of delight over everything you do and eagerness to help with anything. My personal favorite was one day laying in bed together when he leaned over, gazed into my eyes, placed his hand softly on my cheek and whispered, "I love you, Momma. You a good Momma, Momma." Um. Yeah. I think I can die happy now so long as someone promises to tell that story at my funeral. Maybe I should buy him a car first, though. Nothing says you are the best thing that ever happened to me like buying someone a car.

It's too bad he couldn't be bothered to look the least bit cute for his class Thanksgiving party:

Sheesh. I mean, really. Is that the best he can do? Chubby cheeks and a goofy outfit? I suppose you'd have me believe his tongue sticking out in concentration as he learns to ride his sister's hand me down bike is cute, too:

Whatever.

And in case anyone's concerned about a boy riding a pink princess bike, that's the least of this kid's problems. Here he is wearing his sister's princess towel while he waits for his servants to draw his bath for him:

What's that you ask? What is the strange man next to him doing? Gee, you mean not everyone kicks the bubble bath up a notch with the paint stirring attachment for their drill?:

That's so odd. Because my husband swears that's perfectly normal.

Five more products I really like

1. Combination corer and melon baller. I hate one use kitchen gadgets. I really do. But my kids like strawberries and they only like them without the green part. I bought this on a whim and it's the next best thing to a personal chef to do it for me. And it does melon balls! Not that I've ever balled melons in my life, but in my head I like to think I'll someday throw a fancy party that requires an equally fancy fruit display and now I'm totally ready.

2. Blackout drapery liner for curtains. We finally ripped down the vertical blinds covering the sliding glass doors in our bedroom that we inherited from the previous owners of our house. I've hated them since we bought the house but never more so than when our giant pony/puppy decided he liked laying in them. Every time he moved in the middle of the night he moved the blinds. Every time he moved the blinds, it woke me up and made me want to kill him. I replaced the blinds with curtains and added blackout liner. Not only do the liners not wake me up in the night, they also block light better than the blinds did. My life is practically complete.

3. Color Wonders I've been aware of Color Wonders and tried them out with the kids before. We tend to stick with old school washable crayons and markers at home though. No particular reason. What I really, really liked was storing a package of Color Wonders for each kid in my backpack and then whipping them out in the middle of a three hour car ride during our summer vacation when I could tell we were on the brink of all hell breaking loose in our backseat. The crisis was averted and it was followed by 45 minutes of peace and quiet. Sometimes 45 minutes of peace and quiet is all you need to keep a good day on track. My daughter even tried out the glitter kind. I wouldn't want her to use that kind in my house where the glitter could potentially get into every nook and cranny but when it's a rental car I say do it up right.

4. My laptop. Best. Purchase. Ever. Laying in bed while I surf the net has taken my innate laziness to all new levels.

5. Travel bingo. Our 3 year old spent more time doodling on it and discussing the pictures than actually playing. So he was probably a little young for it. But he liked being involved and the 5 year old was all in. Thumbs way up. I packed it away for out next trip and I'm even thinking about making my own cards with more specific stuff. Like they listed "restaurant" and I'm thinking an entire card of assorted fast food restaurants might be fun to try to fill up. Or maybe different gas stations. These are the idiotic projects I like to clog up my already hectic life with. But I still think it would be fun.

Other installments of products I really like:
The first five

My husband would shove me down a water slide for a million dollars every day of the week and twice on Sunday

Just because I haven't mention any crappy reality television in awhile doesn't mean I haven't been watching any:

• It's hard to decide which was more of a foregone conclusion: Irina winning Project Runway or Nicole winning America's Next Top Model. No matter how foregone the conclusion though, Project Runway still has me. I always marvel at the talent of the designers and appreciate the fact that it's one of the few reality shows that really does reward actual talent rather than just good looks or the ability to lie and scheme.
  

• I hope the Harlem Globetrotter guys win The Amazing Race. I will never forget them at the top of the water slide in Dubai trash talking the grown woman wearing arm floaties who was too scared to go down a water slide for a million dollars. I will remember that for two reasons. One, what was with the arm floaties? It's not like they could save a grown adult from drowning. And why do you need them on a water slide? Even the water at the bottom isn't really that deep. Just stand up. The other reason I'll remember that water slide standoff is because I know for a fact my husband would have trash talked that chick too. I also know he would never speak to me again if I tried to refuse to go down a water slide for a million dollars. That's assuming he didn't wrestle me onto the slide and shove me down it. But I digress. I like the Globetrotters is what I'm saying. They seem fun and way smarter than I thought they'd be.
  

• I'm dying to find out who wins Survivor this season. I haven't been this curious to get to the winner in quite awhile. Although I started out hating Russell for being arrogant, I've grown to appreciate that he keeps his eyes on the prize when other people are so stupid that they think drawing rocks is a good strategy. Like, yeah, I guess we're friends and teammates but if it comes down to serving you up on a silver platter to save my own neck or risking my own neck, see ya. And for Laura no less. Chick was annoying. I definitely wouldn't be willing to draw rocks for her. Anyway, I'm on the Russell bandwagon now and I get more and more worried about him getting voted out every week. For example, I read online that he's on the next All Stars version of the show and that has me paranoid about why he would do two seasons back to back unless he lost the first time around.
  

• I'm so glad Jon & Kate Plus 8 is over. I hope and pray TLC and corporate America let it die here. Go get real jobs. Stop pretending the paparazzi following you is someone else's fault. You brought it on yourself. Your children are lovely and we all want them to turn out normal. Right the ship already.

• There should be a crappy reality television show about Tiger Woods backing out of his driveway at 2 in the morning fast enough to hit a fire hydrant and a tree causing enough damage to require his wife to knock a window out with a golf club. Seriously. I'm completely riveted waiting for the rest of that story.
  

The vortex of cuteness sucked me in long ago. Save yourselves.

My daughter started first grade this year. I failed to post about it back when it happened because I was busy being a lazy, good for nothing blogger. But I'd actually written about it, saved the post as a draft planning to wait so I could add photos and then completely forgot about it. As it is 11:09 on day 27 of NaBloPoMo, I decided there was no time like the present to dust it off and finally add the photos.

I'm also trying to turn over a new blogging leaf and stop saving so many things in draft. I feel mildly pathetic admitting that I currently have 18 things in varying states saved "in draft" status. If you think that's pathetic, don't forget that this one was saved in draft too up until tonight. So technically, I'd accumulated 19 of them. I know. I'm a draft happy loser. And a sappy one at that.

Because again this year I felt the need to take the day off from work for the first day of school. My husband made fun of this. The concept of needing a day off in order to avoid crying in front of coworkers is pretty foreign to him. He also thought he was done wading through my weepy first day of school sentimental crap until our 3 year old gets around to starting Kindergarten. Dude is so clueless. I know.

So I took the day off and had big plans that included weeping and feeling sorry for myself. Turns out, I was mostly just misty. Extended misty. But nothing more and nothing less. Maybe she's not the only one growing up.

We did the customary pictures in the driveway, pictures with the backpack, pictures in front of the school, pictures with the new teacher, pictures at her desk and pictures with her BFF. And then I walked out. No really.

Other parents were lingering. And not even lingering with an excuse like tying shoelaces or giving the kid instructions. Most of them had already seated their kid at their desk and had just sort of backed up behind them five feet and were kind of hanging out by the classroom wall. I was proud that lingering didn't even occur to me. We greeted the teacher, we put the backpack away and she sat down. And then it seemed like time to go. And I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the other parents were doing. It just didn't make any sense to me.

And that's when I realized I'd come a long way from last year. So I gave her hugs, kisses, a gentle "listen to your teacher" reminder and then I left. And it was good. It probably would have been harder if she hadn't look quite so happy to be there. That's one of the things I'll remember most about this year:

My happy baby. I hope she'll always be so happy and excited to be wherever she is. And I hope I'll always find strength and courage in her happiness. Even on days when I want to keep her small and mine forever.

I'm desperately proud and hopelessly sentimental about the first day of school. I hope every one of them continues to stand out in my memory just as much. I find them very defining. For them and me.

And if you haven't been sucked into the black hole of sappiness by now, let me open the vortex of cuteness and see if it can suck you in instead. Here is the reason I get up in the morning dressed and ready to set off on her next great adventure:

I'm delighted to be along for the ride.

From our tableclothed mismatched table to yours

Our dining room set remains as mismatched as ever but if you glam it up with a tablecloth and invite some insane people to eat with you, no one will ever be the wiser:

See? You barely noticed the tablecloth. Or any of the tasty food my husband cooked despite the fact that he was coughing and slightly feverish all day. Here he is trying to get more of his cooties on his legendary stuffing:

And here he is doing a French's shoestring onions ad:

The insanity runs strong in his genes and has successfully infected our babies:

That's my three year old attempting to "get dressed" for Thanksgiving dinner. I'd like to show you the "after" shot of him in a cute little sweater vest but my husband has a serious sweater vest allergy that extends to his offspring. And also, the kid with the underwear on his head never actually managed to get dressed and ended up wearing his pj's to the table. The same pajamas he wore all day. Which is like the perfect illustration of the kind of relaxed laid back sort of day we enjoyed. So is this photo:

I'm thankful for laid back days, a crazy family and the comfortable life we're fortunate enough to enjoy. Every day spent with them is a good one. Happy Thanksgiving from us to you.

Somebody needs a little QT and I'm just the girl to give it to him

My husband was out of town last night and got home an hour ago. He's been wandering around the bedroom checking email on his Blackberry, firing up his laptop and trying to make conversation with me about the the last 36 hours of my life that he missed. I was busy trying to clean out my feed reader and ensure that I've read every last bit of trashy celebrity gossip on the internet before I go to bed. As an example, I just finished reading about Courtney Love's insane Facebook rant against Edward Norton who I must confess I've always considered sort of smart guy hot. You know, no where near as hot as Brad Pitt but twelve times smarter and more interesting so that sort of makes up for the "no where near as hot thing." Similarly, guys that can make you laugh hysterically don't need to be as hot either.

Anyway, my husband kept making chit chat the whole time. Mostly he wanted to know what I'd been doing but he did also express some horror when I scrolled past this insane photo of some dude in his underwear. I'm all, Um. I got off early, picked up the kids, had dinner, you know. And he's all, What else? And I'm all, What do you mean? And he's all, What else did you guys do? And I'm all, Nothing. And he's all, I'm trying to talk to you and you're distracted. And I'm all, Pretend I'm watching Monday Night Football.

And then he wandered off again. Don't worry. He found some excruciatingly loud pig call videos on YouTube and he's been passing the time watching them a foot away from me. Iin case they weren't loud enough to wake everyone in a three mile radius, he pulled some bird call thingamajig out of his bag and started making bird calls at our three dogs. It's a good thing I'm done surfing the net and ready to resume by ritualistic stalking of him. Because dude is clearly trying to get my attention.