Who Am I?

I decided to do the Who Are You Part 1 link up with Kimmy. It doesn’t hurt that I like her name. Duh.  And at first, I didn’t think I could possibly think of 20 random facts and then, lo and behold, I thought of 20 just about feet related crap. Who knew I had that much to say about feet?

20 Random facts about me:
1. If I am in my house, I am barefoot.
2. If I am in my house putting on shoes, I must be getting ready to go somewhere.
3. My kids know this and automatically stalk me to see if I’m going somewhere fun. “Somewhere fun” translates to Target. It does not translate to grocery shopping or running any productive errand. Announcing we’re taking a trip to the post office is the equivalent of Chinese water torture.
4. I don’t like sleeping with socks on.
5. It has to be cold as hell before I’ll give in and put on socks to sleep in during the winter.
6. My mother is convinced every cold my children have ever gotten is because I don’t make them wear socks in the winter.
7. I do not like long toe nails.
8. I’m confused by anyone with long toe nails that extend beyond the end of their toe. How do they not end up scratching themselves with it? How do they not end up scratching their spouse while they are in bed subjecting their spouse to mandatory cuddle time?
9. I was convinced flip flops were uncomfortable until literally two years ago. I now live in flip flops year round and own 3 different pairs.
10. Even when I lived in dorms in college, I still didn’t give in to flip flops. I wore Addidas slip on shower shoes in the bathroom instead.
11. I can’t stand super cheap $5 plastic flip flops. They chafe. I do not enjoy chafing. Life is too short for $5 cheapo plastic flip flops.
12. I can’t bring myself to subject my kids to super cheap $5 plastic flip flop crap either. I shell out extra money so they have decent flip flops, too.
13. By “shell out extra money” I mean I buy them $20 colorful Crocs brand flip flops. Pretty sure I’ve created flip flop snobs because my daughter tried on a cheap but cute pair at Walmart once and was all confused that they didn’t feel good.
14. My favorite pair of flip flops are Crocs brand. My daughter wore them to the mailbox the other day and commented on how comfy they are.
15. I own 2 pairs of the same style Crocs brand in 2 different colors. I have no idea why I wanted them in the 2nd color since I never color coordinate them with my outfit.
16. I wear the same pair of plain black loafer-y type shoes to work almost everyday.
17. They’re by Anne Klein and they are comfy for a gal on the go at the office without looking too Naturalizer-y.
18. I buy a new pair of black loafer-y type work shoes roughly once a year.
19. I know it’s time to buy a new pair when the other ones are literally falling apart or I find myself kicking them off at my desk all the time because my feet are hurting.
20. One time I literally wore my work shoes out so well that ½ of the sole of my shoe literally came off while walking into my house. My mother is still convinced I should have taken those shoes to a shoe repair place. I’m still convinced it was time to move on with my life and get new shoes.

Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears:
1. If a phone rings in the night, someone must be dead. I developed this fear after my grandparents died suddenly several years ago and I found out by phone. I did not however, find out by phone in the night. But whatever. The first couple years after they died, if the phone rang when I wasn’t expecting a call (even if it was broad daylight), my heart would jump just the tiniest little bit and I’d immediately hope nothing was wrong. It was annoying. Thankfully my memory is sieve and that’s faded over the years.
2. Drowning. Do not play games with me in the pool that involve trying to push me under water or hold me underwater against my will. It will not go well. My brother who was older and stronger than me loved playing that game with me as a kid. Her perfected his technique to the point that he could hold me under right up until that moment when your lungs are about to burst and you are preparing to open your mouth and suck in water. I go into psycho panic mode to this day if I’m held under water. My husband would be glad to tell you about it.
3. Suffocating. Do not play games with me that involve a pillow over my face or shoving my face into a pillow to pretend to suffocate me. It will not go well. My brother didn’t just like to torture my soul in the pool when we were kids. He was an equal opportunity offender and tortured my soul in the living room with sofa cushions, too.  

No one trying to drown anyone.  Thumbs up.  Too bad we opted for a hairy knee right in the middle of the picture.

Describe your relationship with your spouse: My husband is insane. He doesn’t think he is. He thinks I’m insane. I don’t think I am. I figure we’re the walking talking definition of the Dr. Seuss quote, “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” His insanity completes my insanity. Not that I’m admitting I’m insane.

List 10 Things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could:1. Stop begging your mother for Guess jeans with the little zippers on the ankles. They’re not that great. You just want the little triangle label on the butt. I know because you will actually consider taking the label off a pair that doesn’t fit and sewing it onto cheap crappy jeans so people will think they are Guess. That is stupid.
2. Red hair is fun. It’s different but different is good. Red heads aren’t for everyone. But red heads are the only ones for some people. Don’t worry about people that aren’t into them.
3. Joining the tennis team doesn’t count as taking up a sport. Take up something that requires you to sweat periodically. It’ll be good for you. Who knows. Maybe it would make you do something crazy like maintain a healthy active lifestyle and not get to 204 pounds 20 years later.
4. Don’t sign up for physics. That class blows. The teacher is a chauvinist.
5. If your teacher acts like a chauvinist, you should politely point it out to him. So what if he won’t appreciate it. Oh, well.
6. You are not too old to go visit your grandparents in the summer. Your friends will be fine at home without you. Go. Ask them to tell you stories. Take your grandmother to baseball games. She’s scared to drive herself but loves going. Sit in the backyard with your grandpa and discuss the rose and the tomatoes and the birds or just sit there quietly and don’t discuss anything. It may seem like they’ll always be there but they won’t. And when you’re grown up, you won’t be able to remember any of the trips to the movies or bowling or other stupid stuff you goofed off doing with your friends. But you’ll have a million stories from your summers with your grandparents and you’ll tell them over and over again and your kids will love hearing them. So will your mother for that matter.
7. It’s cute that think you want to be a doctor someday. That’s so cute. Dreams are such a wonderful thing. Aren’t they? Too bad you hate chemistry. You can’t out-study your natural tendency to hate it. You hated it Freshman year and that’s not going to change when you get to college. You will just have more homework and harder tests. You are a round peg. Chemistry is a square hole. Give it up now.
8. Don’t perm your hair. You will hate it 2 weeks later and be stuck painstakingly straightening it for three months.
9. Don’t give bangs a whirl. You will hate the whirl 2 weeks later and be stuck growing them out for six months. Bangs are not to be taken lightly.  Lesson for life.
10. I know you like those black ankle boots. I know you think they look edgy. Especially with those stupid triangular dangly earrings and the new backpack style purse. Your wrong. Your wearing them with white ankle socks. There is nothing edgy about white ankle socks. The triangular dangly earrings are from Claire’s in the mall. Edgy and Claire’s are mutually exclusive.  

A pretty smile. 

5 Things that make me most happy right now: My husband’s smile, my kids laughter, good health, sugar free jello pudding cups and when I find fresh fruit in the fridge already cut up for me. I’m also very appreciative of having a roof over our heads and a job with benefits.

Linking up with Kimmy!

25 and counting

Some people knock out their list of 100 things in one shot. They probably also order t-shirts from Threadless. I've successfully taken over two years to finally get to 20 and I'm too tragically uncool to ever think to order Threadless t-shirts despite the fact that I often think the designs are very clever. But none of that has anything to do with the following 10 things about me:

16. I hate perfume. I can take a whiff and think something smells good but then I'm done.
17. When we were dating, my husband once gave me a bottle of fancy perfume.
18. I'm very sensitive to smell in general. I'm convinced an annoyingly strong smelling dandruff shampoo once gave me a headache. Which is odd since washing my hair typically cures my headaches. Go figure.
19. I hate when my husband puts dryer sheets in the dryer with my T-shirts because I end up I smelling the dryer sheet all day when I wear those shirts. My husband jokes that I'd be happier if the the world was devoid of any scent at all.
20. I absolutely would not be happier if the world was devoid of scent. For example, how would I know when it's time to pour the end of the milk down the drain? I also happen to love the smell of many, many things. Movie theater popcorn, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and my babies fresh out of the bathtub being the first three that come to mind. I also love the smell of clean sheets. And the bathroom after someone showers when the faint smell of their shampoo lingers in the room.
21. I once had a candle made by the Herbal Essences shampoo people that smelled like my favorite lightly scented pink Herbal Essences shampoo. I kept it in my bathroom for years and it always smelled like someone had just washed their hair in there. I was sad when the candle died and I discovered that Herbal Essences wasn't making candles anymore.
22. Most jewelry makes me feel claustrophobic.
23. I can't stand anyone pushing me underwater in a swimming pool. I blame this entirely on my older brother who used to entertain himself by holding me under the water when we were kids. And because my brother is nothing if not smart, he'd hold me under until the exact last second before I'd open my mouth and suck in water. To this day, being shoved under makes me panic and flail.
24. I also don't like being held down with a pillow on my face. Same problem. Same brother to blame for it. Aren't siblings fun?
25. My husband and I once bought 3000 square feet of saran wrap at Sam's Club. We'd taken to buying things in bulk and I let my husband convince me that buying the restaurant sized package was a good fiscal move. Five years later we've still got 2700 square feet of it. I'm pretty sure we'll never buy saran wrap again. I wish I'd started photographing my children next to the saran wrap to document the progress of both over the years. Although there's really no time like the present. So here's my six year old holding 2700 square feet of saran wrap:

I look forward to shoving that same roll of saran wrap into her arms on her wedding day.

Other installments of my slow creep towards 100 things:
9-15
1-8

7 more reasons I'm really, really cool

I started a list of 100 things about me several months ago. I decided to fill it gradually instead of all at once. Mostly because I enjoy opportunities to cut corners. I get to add to the growing list today after getting tagged for a meme by Christine at Sippy Cups and Blackberries. The gist of the meme is to list 7 random or weird facts about yourself. Not a problem, dude. My list starts with #9 because I’m picking up my list of 100 where I left off. Like anyone but me cares. Whatever:

9. I can drink a whole Slurpee in one sitting without getting brain freeze or chest freeze. I think maybe I’m immune to it. My husband can endure dental work without pain medication but is crippled by brain freeze on the first sip of anything cold. This amuses me.
10. I only have 1 kidney that functions. It’s the result of kidney reflux as a baby. I saw a urologist about it for years. On two separate occasions with two different friends I really needed to use the bathroom and tried to get the friend to let me use the bathroom before them by telling them I only have one kidney and my urologist says I shouldn’t wait to go. Both times the friend laughed because she thought I was kidding and went to the bathroom first. Both times they felt bad later when I told them it wasn’t a joke.
11. I’m a notorious channel flipper. Radio and television.
12. I’ve read 50 Agatha Christie books. Mostly during high school. I read so many I started writing down the titles to keep track of them. Her best book is And Then There Were None not Murder on the Orient Express no matter what anyone tells you. And Miss Marple is better than Hercule Peroit.
13. I like walnuts, peanuts and occasionally almonds but I won’t eat them in anything. I don’t care how big they are or how easy they are to pick out. My answer is still “No, thank you.”
14. I was a member of the Barbie Fan Club as a kid. My mom has the canceled check to prove it. My Barbie Dream House is packed away in my mother’s garage waiting to be handed down to my daughter. So is my Barbie Dream Pool. And my Barbie Dream Kitchen. And my Glitter Barbie with the cool glitter glass heels. And I don’t mean the cheap flip flop heels. I’m talking about the pumps that actually fit on the foot and stayed in place.
15. When I meet people or see them on TV I like to classify them in my head by what kind of relationship I could have with them. I met a friend’s fiancée and later summed up how awesome I thought she was by saying I could totally be friends with her. Whereas some whack job shrew on Dr. Phil gets classified as someone I could not be friends with. Other categories I like to use are someone that would be fun to go to happy hour with, someone that would make a good neighbor, entertaining to sit near at work and guy most likely to come into work with a gun and shoot the place up.

I’m supposed to tag 7 people when I’m done. But I’m too soft. I can't put the screws to anyone. Even delicate little meme screws. But I'll totally read your list and link if you do it!

8 facts to solidify my reputation as a dork

I lack the focus it takes to sit down and come up with 100 things about myself. I see those lists on other people's blogs and I admire them. Mostly I admire the ability to complete the list. And sometimes they're funny.

Joy tagged me to do a list of 8 random facts or habits about myself. Since I've never been tagged for anything ever before, I think it's kind of exciting. I'm also the sort of person that gets a secret little parenting thrill signing up to bring something for my daughter's class parties. I know. World class dorky.

But I figure 8 things about me puts me 8 things closer to 100 so it's really win-win. I think I'm supposed to tag some other people to do the list too. I'm thinking 8. Only I'm not going to. Not because I'm lazy but because I lack blog self-esteem and I'm a low pressure sales girl. So if you do it, you do it. And if you don't you don't. But let me know if you do though. Because I'm dorky like that, too. Here's mine:

1. There were 10 people in my graduating class. No really. 10.
2. Jack Wagner once said my name. At the stage door after a Broadway show my friend got next to him for a photo. Close proximity to Frisco Jones short circuited my brain and I forgot what I was doing. The friend repeatedly said my name and told me to hurry up and take the picture. Jack himself finally got tired of waiting and called my name and told me to take the picture. I like to tell people that she may have a photo but it's my name he knows.
3. I have no depth perception.
4. I've been to 2 Barry Manilow concerts. I also liked New Kids on the Block. The NKOTB thing is much more embarrassing. I was a Joey girl.
5. I cannot remember sequences of numbers. Regardless of the significance of the numbers. It took me years to master my own social security number. I have to keep my ATM PIN number written down somewhere in my purse just in case. Please don't mug me.
6. I have an odd Rainman-esque ability to do jigsaw puzzles quickly. People think I'm exaggerating until they see me do a puzzle. I'm pretty fast. I wish this were the sort of skill that gets you a raise at work.
7. My daughter is named Georgia because that's where my husband and I met. It makes me smile every time I tell people that.
8. I threw a flaming marshmallow on my brother's arm when I was 13. My mother didn't know until 10 years later when I laughingly told the story over lunch to my brother's then girlfriend.