Ridiculous overreactions that have occurred inside my head recently

1.  While laying in bed reading, my husband bopped me in the face with a pillow. He thinks he’s funny. This is classic him being funny. Unfortunately, he opted to use a pretty firm memory foam pillow so it shoved the glasses directly into the bridge of my nose and that hurt.  On top of that, my reading glasses are currently being held together with glue while I wait for my new ones to come in and contact with the pillow popped the lens loose. Yes. That’s right. My glasses are currently being held together with glue. And not even super glue, either. Just a regular glue stick glue. So there. I’m not too proud to say it. Although I am too proud to wear them out of the house and those are strictly “at home” glasses.

When I shrieked after getting hit with the pillow, Mr. Funny decided to bop me again with the pillow.  Not in the face this time but I'm apparently clueless and startle easily and the glasses flew out of my hand off the side of the bed. I immediately freaked the hell out.  Because the lens was already pooping loose and now they were flying and they're my only extra pair besides my good work glasses and I couldn't find them on the floor and what if I stepped on them and the sky was clearly falling on Chicken Little. 

My husband must have sensed a rift in the force and jumped out of the bed and did an urgent Jack Bauer scene from 24 ransacking the area around the bed. It included screaming that the bomb was going to go off any second and no one panic because Jack Bauer is going to save the world.  His Jack Bauer impression includes saying everything urgently and looking you urgently in the face while gripping your arms to get your urgent attention.  It's funny unless you are freaking the hell out.  Because then it feeds the hysteria.  So do your kids running in and circling the crime scene and screaming along with their father.  Then it was all a little much and I may or may not have shed some freak the hell out tears.  Naturally, the glasses were then located, fixed and I felt like an idiot. And then Jack Bauer and I laid down again and Jack Bauer suggested I might need to get more sleep because I seemed easily excitable.

2. At mile 18.2 of my 23 mile long run, I became convinced the toe nail on my big toe was about to fall off. I’ve been above average paranoid about losing a toe nail ever since I took up running. Mostly because I have a strong gag reflex and this seems gag reflex inducing.  I figure I would not be able to look at my foot with a nail missing and I can’t figure out how you avoid looking at your foot for months and months while it grows back. 

So I’m always very careful when I pick out shoes or socks or even how I lace up or tie my shoes. I regularly tie and retie my laces until I’m satisfied my feet feel good. Knock on wood, no issues so far. But at mile 18.2 things didn’t feel good. They felt off. I’m pretty sure my sock had just shifted a little. But inside my head, the damage had already been done over the past 18 miles and that toe nail was now hanging by a thread.

At one point I tried to consider whether or not I felt any moisture on my foot as if the loss of the toe nail was causing a river of blood to pour forth.  I adjusted the sock at my next water stop.  All was right in the world. Except the whole rest of the evening I was monitoring my toe and trying to sense if anything looked or felt different. Like maybe the toe nail was just waiting until later to turn black and fall off. Which, of course, it didn’t. Because I’m “Paranoid, party of one.”

3. It was 2 pm in the afternoon and my daughter was going to hawk Girl Scout Cookies in front of a local store at 6 pm. Naturally, I became convinced I didn’t have time to go to CVS. You know, because driving three blocks to buy some body wash requires 4 hours at minimum. I talked myself down from the ledge after the next hour passed at a normal speed.  You know, over the course of an hour, get this, an hour passed.  So then I hit CVS and was home in 15 minutes.  Crisis averted.  It went so well I got a little crazy and decided to hit Kohl's.  I'm wild like that.  Longer drive. Longer time wandering through store. Checked the time every 15 minutes.  Genius.  Naturally, stopping for a Dr. Pepper on the way home and the impact that detour would have on my schedule did not even factor into my decision making.  Trip to CVS, could take forever.  Running in for a Dr. Pepper, time is on hold and angels sing.  

4. At mile 19.6 of my 23 mile long run, I tripped on a little edge on the sidewalk, my feet came out from under me and I was falling face first towards the sidewalk with my arms flailing wildly. I barely caught myself. My heart was racing and I became convinced I was having some sort of panic attack and was going to fall out on the floor from lack of oxygen. Naturally, I managed to keep running despite that because I’m a spaz and I wasn’t falling out. But in my head, I was falling out.

5. I lost actual sleep thinking about water filters for the water on our fridge door. Some people lose sleep worrying about world peace. Some people lose sleep worrying about what their kids will be when they grow up. I lose sleep worrying that I will forget to order water filters the next day because my brain is a sieve.

The only thing better than worrying about water filters is finally getting up at 4 am to order the water filters so I can stop worrying about them. Then in the morning I tell my husband about the ridiculousness of my concern with water filters and he tells me there are 3 new water filters in the closet at the bottom of the stairs. Um. Say what?

And let's agree to not even discuss the insanity of not just writing crap down instead of trying to memorize it and hoping I’ll remembering it in the morning. For a relatively bright girl, a sleep deprived haze really does a number on my common sense.