Proof of life

1. My husband told our 10 year old to go tell her brother to put his pajamas on. She took 3 steps and shrieked downstairs to her brother. My husband pointed out that he could have done that himself. The 10 year old responded, “Well, then why didn’t you?” Classic.

2. That same 10 year old made the mistake of leaving her favorite doll in our bed, got distracted and it was there all day. Naturally, upon discovering the forgotten doll, my husband and I did what any normal parent would do and took the doll hostage and sent our kid a list of demands. And no kidnapper worth their salt would expect anyone to pay up without proof of life, so we included a photo of the doll to prove the doll was still okay.   It's probably more motivational if your kidnap victim looks scared in the photo but I'm not aware of "scared" model of American Girl dolls.   Our daughter thought our little joke was funny right up until she stopped thinking it was funny.  That was when we pretended we didn't know what she was talking about and began dramatically asking her when she saw the doll last and if she could describe what the dolll was wearing.
3. I have not been eating healthy for the last 4 days. It started with a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper that found its way into my husband’s shopping cart when he stopped at the grocery store. Then there was the Jimmy John’s sandwich. Then there were the Cadbury mini eggs, bowl of ice cream before bed, cake, donuts, donut holes, more Cadbury mini eggs and fried okra. My train wreck eating habits culminated in a particularly tragic trip to the Wendy’s drive thru yesterday.

True that.
If you are going to go hog wild and eat like a female that wants to wear a larger pants size, I’m here to tell you don’t waste your hog wild meal on the Wendy’s drive thru. I’m not saying it’s the worst food I’ve ever had. I’m just saying, when I feel like a hungry hippo and dream of high calorie crap I’d like to shove in my face, it’s not a Wendy’s single with cheese that I picture in my head. So it feels like a waste. Except it’s a really high calorie waste because who gets a cheeseburger with no fries. And if you’re going to get fries, you may as well make it a large. And if you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly bear and go ahead and get you an extra large Dr. Pepper to wash it down with. My size 8 jeans were not feeling so loose this morning and it was decidedly not cool. Apparently, this female right here needs to start tracking her calories again because she’s not trustworthy winging it.
Not the family photo you frame and stick on the mantle.  But it is the one that reminds me of the endearing chaos that is my life with a crowded bathroom at bedtime.  I look forward to a whole weekend with this crew.
 4. I am happy its Friday. I’m always happy its Friday. Today more than others for no particular reason other than being glad I don’t have to come to work tomorrow. I’m considering attaching myself to my husband all weekend to get my cuddle on. I’m also not opposed to lengthy periods of time laying in bed reading. Holla. 
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