8.01.2014

Weigh In: Excuses I tell myself

My husband was on the verge of staging an intervention last week after reading three posts in a row staring photos of my pasty white feet on the scale. He threatened to hide my scale after explaining to me that I am healthy and that’s the most important thing.

Sigh. I know. First, he’s nice. Two, I clearly need to periodically write about things other than my scale. Three, let’s all agree he probably won’t like that I’m about to post another photo of the scale. And I swear I'm going to start writing about other things.  But it was a hectic week and I got distracted. But I swear I don't need an intervention:

Not the windfall of lost weight I had been hoping for after pushing through That Time of the Month week. But down .8 pounds is still .8 pounds less than last week.  And at least we’re headed in the right direction. That’s always a positive.  On the other hand, I successfully resisted donuts, freshly baked cinnamon rolls, a free 2 liter of Dr. Pepper in the fridge at work, creamy stroganoff, a pot of rice I was ready to face plant into and Little Debbie Swiss Rolls. So what the hell is up with .8? Can’t a girl at least get that number to round off to a full pound lost.

Eh.

While reminding myself that .8 is actually a loss and that any loss is actually a good thing and all that rah rah rah crap, I did manage to find time to brainstorm my top 8 excuses I have given consideration to this week to blame for my scale not showing me what I want to see:

Excuses I tell myself when the scale doesn’t read the way I think it should:
1. I must not be eating enough calories. I can’t begin to tell you how much I wish this one was true. I should be so lucky.

2. I must be eating too many calories. Strongest candidate on this list. All day everyday.

3. I must be building muscle. Because everyone knows muscle weighs more than fat. And Project “Do an actual pushup” is still in effect. Except if I gained this amount of weight every time I lifted some weights, I’d be 437 pounds by now. And since I’m not, there are some holes in this story.

4. The battery in my scale must be dying. Despite the fact that the screen is just as bright and lit up as always.

5. That wet towel on the side of the tub just touched the scale before I got on so they obviously left water on the scale and that made the number go up.  Except my scale automatically zeroes itself every time it starts.

6. I must need to go to the bathroom. Clearly there's a lack of fiber in my diet and I will just be sure I suck a few fiber pills down.

7. I ate too much salty stuff yesterday. I reached that conclusion one day this week after noticing that my favorite 45 calories for 2 tablespoons Caesar dressing has 280 mg of salt. That’s a lot of salt. Clearly the dressing is the problem. Clearly eating dry salad for lunch should fix that.

8. I must need to exercise more to burn more calories. Next thing I know I’m on Amazon buying a Fitbit Flex. This will clearly fix everything.
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