Anywhere you want

My husband called me yesterday and invited me on a fun filled vacation this weekend. It came complete with phrases like, “We can go anywhere you want” and “whatever you want to do.” I feel certain there’s a correlation between this generous offer and the fact that he’s out of town yet again. I’ve actually grown kinda mellow to all the traveling. Not, "Gee this is awesome I wish he’d go away more often" mellow. More of, "I don’t really feel like stabbing my eyes out 24 hours a day because at least there’s bedtime to look forward to."

My least favorite thing about my husband being out of town isn’t even the “him out of town" part. I’d just like to get out and do things a little more often. When he’s gone I tend to spend my entire day either at home or at work with brief periods in my car in between. On the weekends, our big outing is usually the grocery store. And sometimes McDonald’s. Because M&M McFlurries are good motivational tools to keep everyone on track in the grocery store. Yesterday I tried to use them as a “let’s sit in the cart and eat one while Momma looks for blinds at Home Depot” tool. Let me tell you, no. Just no. Melting. Dripping. Sticky. No, no and more no.

I try really hard to leave the house with the kids more. I do. But sometimes things I enjoy without my kids end up being a lot less fun when they’re there. Like going to Target. Who doesn’t enjoy a nice trip to the Tar-jay? There’s always some new piece of crap you don’t need and they have it in like seven different colors with every single one more cute than the next. And don’t get me started on the little T-shirts for kids. Someone in my household gets a new T-shirt every time I go there. Yesterday it was pink with cherries. Upon purchasing it, I felt certain I could live to see another day now that I owned such cuteness.

Having said that, along the way to the checkout I wanted to kill someone. First, my 4 year old likes to find things she cannot live without. Yesterday it was a $30 Disney princess trashcan. Then there was some talking baby doll followed by a pink hula hoop. Thankfully she had already decided she wanted gummy bears. Faced with choosing between a hula hoop and gummy bears (which ironically cost roughly the same thanks to cheap labor in China), the hula hoop was second banana. Although she thinks we’re getting the hula hoop next time. Right. Except she won’t be there next time. Because how am I supposed to get my shop on when I’ve Sophie’s Choice going on everytime the kid spots something new. Seriously. The hula hoop and the gummy bears was an existential crisis for her. Yummy versus fun. What to do.

And her brother is busy running around the aisles. Literally running. Next time you wonder whose kid that is circling the rug aisles, don’t worry about where his mother is. She’s in the next aisle over. She can hear that kid charging right down the aisle the whole time. And there’s a fair amount of squealing going on. He's not lost. She knows right where he is. But she needs a new rug by her washing machine. Because the other one keeps sliding every time the dogs go out the door. And one of the dogs is claustrophobic and sliding rugs make him skittish. Because he’s a baby but don't tell her husband because he thinks the dog hung the moon.

I also noticed that my husband’s been traveling enough that while picking out the same aforementioned rug and it popped into my head to wonder which one he would like I immediately squelched the thought and decided that “She who is home with the kids gets to pick the rug.” Although I picked one I happen to know he’d like. So whatever. It’s brown. But it’s lovely. And soft. And if I can’t leave the house with the kids as much as I want, at least I can like the rug in front of my washing machine.

I don’t know that we’ll be going on that vacation either. I mean it’s the thought that counts so I’m sort of happy just getting offered a vacation. Because I'm stupidly low maintenance like that. But suitcases don’t pack themselves. For that matter, the suitcases don’t do the laundry when you get back either. I’m thinking sleeping late while he does all the laundry would be vacation enough for me. But who knows.


Shan said...

Where do I sign up for that vacation?

Anne said...

I wish Target had child care - why don't these places offer this? Oh, probably because gummy bear sales would drop and the whole economy would collapse. I hope you get some time off, even for one day or morning or load of laundry.

Chaotic Joy said...

We had a similar Target experience this morning. We ran in for a birthday present 30 minutes before the party started. "WE are getting a birthday present, we are leaving, we are NOT BUYING ANYTHING ELSE."

We left with the birthday present a new "Buzz Lightyear" and a thing of balloons that fly through the air. WHAT THE HECK? I am weak. Target and my 3 year old won hands down.

I hope you get that vacation and all the laundry done as well.

Kritter Krit said...

I know, isn't the thought of getting READY for the vacation enough to make you need a nap...or another vacation?

Target. I love it! Seriously, every department, I love. Target with a three year old - I love it significantly less. Today Sophie told me she "needed" a Dora squirt gun with a powerblaster. When I told her she, in fact, didn't need it, she told me it needed her. It.needed.her. Pleeeeeeeeeeease, was the next attempt at becoming a Dora Squirt Gun Owner.

That's when I pretended to go spontaneously deaf.

VVVVeronica said...

I love watching the progress as my kids get older and learn the Target drill--instead of saying, "I want, I need"...they say, "Mom, someday when we have money can I get...." LOL

Being exhausted and alone with the kids so often stinks. I seriously wish you many mornings of peaceful sleeping and extra help around the house.

Christine said...

Oh, I would pass on the vacation, but beg for a massage and facial somewhere instead. Let him take the kids while you go off for an entire day. YUMMY! You are a saint, I am dreading my hubby leaving for Memorial Day weekend - and I only have 1 kid!

Christy said...

At least your daughter picks an item and sticks with it somewhat. Mine will change her mine every two seconds and then cry because she can't have them all! Like in Chapters yesterday :)

Maybe you can have that vacation, on your own say to a spa, and let your husband watch the kids?

Jerseygirl89 said...

I want to go on that vacation too. And I'm with Anne on the Target child care idea.

Scary Mommy said...

I NEVER brave Tar-jay with the kids. It's a disaster. And, despite the packing and laundry, vacations are so worth it. Take him up on it!

Childlife said...

I just stopped by to commiserate... I just survived a week without my husband. Well sort of. Depends on how you define 'survived' I guess. Anyway, I'm feeling your pain! :P

Hope you get to go someplace fabulous for that vacation!

Jessica said...

Your Tar-jay experience sounds just like mine do! LOL Glad it's not just me:)

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