Knock on wood

The television in our living room broke mysteriously last month. As the only television viewing taking place in our living room is the occasional screening of Cinderella, my husband and I never got around to buying a new one. In fact, sometimes we even forget that it's broken.

My dad came over for dinner last weekend planning to sit on the couch with my husband watching football. I can't begin to describe how little it takes to make the two of them happy just staring at the screen discussing running backs. Imagine my dad's disappointment when he discovered no television.

We offered to move my husband's mammoth 52 inch flat screen into the living room but my dad assured us it wasn't a big deal. I also suggested he and my husband just go lay on the bed together to watch but I'm sure you can imagine what two grown men thought of that idea.

Anyway, the next morning my dad calls me bright and early to ask if we want a TV for Christmas. I said we had our sights set on getting one next weekend so don't worry about it. The day after that he calls to tell me he has five TVs in his house and he wants to loan us one until we get a new one. And then then the day after that he calls and tells me to go buy a television and tell him how much it was and he'll give me the money. I explained that it's really not a money issue just a "we're lazy and unmotivated because the only person inconvenienced by the no television thing is the five year old princess addict" issue. So then he's all, No really. And I'm all, No really. And he's all, I'm serious. And I'm all, Me, too. And then I guess I said, We'll see, because, dude, everyone knows that's the universal way to be vague and end a conversation that's not going anywhere. Except then the next time I see him he's shoving a blank check in my hand telling me to go out that day and get one. I was all, Huh? He even followed up the next day calling to find out if I got one yet. He was very confused when I seemed confused by his call.

First of all, it's a TV not a roof over someone's head. Obviously we'd pawn one of the children if the other TV broke and we needed some cash to replace it because I think we all know missing even one second of crappy reality television isn't an option. But this is just the backup TV. No one's currently in danger of missing the goth Scarlett O'Hara dude on Blush last night.

Second of all, dude's very worried about the status of a TV. This seemed odd to me up until five minutes ago. I think the failure to compute inside my head was because I'm not male or addicted to football. But then it finally occurred to me that dude might be worried about where he's supposed to park his butt to watch football when he comes over to our house tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Or any other day for that matter. Duh. This makes me wonder if I should call to tell him to go ahead and toss a television in his car before he heads over tomorrow. Because, shhhhh, don't tell anyone, but his many efforts haven't yielded a television yet. I know. Can you imagine actually handing someone a blank check and you still end up on their dumpy old couch staring at the wall forced to make conversation.

Third, we really don't need him to buy us a television. Dude's insane. Generous. But insane. But I guess we'd better get off our duffs and buy ourselves a TV so he can stop losing sleep at night.

Fourth, certainly gives a girl something to be thankful for. Don't get me wrong. I'm not cashing the blank check. But it's the thought that counts. That will be just one of the things I'll be saying thank you for tomorrow. Good health and family being two others. Life has been good to me this year.

Knock on wood.


notevenatshirt vb said...

Wow, I want a relative like that!

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