Fifteen facts to make your Friday complete

1. My mother is concerned that my readers, all 3 of them not counting her, will think she's nuts for being concerned about the quality of the easel she bought our children. Specifically, she will have you know it got a measly three star rating on the Toys R Us website and several reviews mentioned structural issues. So there. She didn't mention it in her email but I'm pretty sure she'd also like the Internet to know that only ungrateful, good for nothing children make fun of their mother's gifts on their blog.

2. Yes, those were in fact gun range targets my babies were drawing on. But don’t worry. We rarely if ever conduct shooting practice in our living room. We have them because my husband’s job requires him to have a gun. Periodically his employer even requires him to take it to a gun range and prove he can hit the broad side of a barn. I’m told he’s actually very good at hitting the head of a pin. I’m sure he could bore the universe with further details but I sadly know nothing. Nothing except that the old papers work great on the easel until I can get myself to a craft store.

3. I found our new giant pony puppy’s long lost twin! Except for the eyes I guess. Next time we get a lab, I totally need to find out where to sign up to get one with a pretty blue eye.

4. My husband walked by the newest Kindergartner's room while she was playing. It was messy so he asked her what happened in there. She told him, “Just go away.” Too bad she didn’t slam her bedroom door and lock it too while she was at it. That combined with this recent picture I took of her and I figure we know exactly what to expect when she turns 16:


5. I have listened to 80s classic “Heat of the Moment” by Asia at least 26 times in the last 5 days. I’m concerned that I’m addicted to driving while listening to the opening verse.

6. I’m concerned that Jason is going to pick Melissa not Molly on The Bachelor.

7. I’m concerned about the fact that I’m concerned about Jason potentially picking Melissa not Molly because it's a stupid show and none of the couples stay together anyway so what does it matter.

8. Except, dude, how sweet and charming does Molly seem and he spent the night with her in the tent and he thinks she's the best kisser and how could anyone not pick her after all that. And seriously, when the hell is Deanna finally coming back. Not that he should get back with her because, dude, she let him get down on one knee and then stone cold dumped him and claimed she was going to be with that other dude forever and he'd have to be a twit to spend even a moment torn between her and anyone else but this is The Bachelor and we all know he will in fact spend many moments torn on the issue so we can, in fact, conclude that he must be a twit.

9. See why I'm concerned. Way to many thoughts on such a stupid show. I know.

10. My husband got coffee at McDonald’s last weekend. They either jacked up his order or used the same pot to make his coffee that they use to make tea. From two feet away with a lid on it, I knew it was tea. Because my gag reflex momentarily kicked in. When I say I can’t stand tea, I really mean I can’t stand tea.

11. We hit the Outback for dinner tonight because nothing screams "Let's not do dishes tonight" like Friday. The kids decided they wanted to sit on the other side of the booth together for a change. We so rarely go anywhere without the kids that sitting on the same side of the booth almost felt like a date.

12. In fact I may or may not have forced some mandatory cuddling on my husband right there in the booth.

13. And the waiter may or may not have arrived with our salads just as my husband was attempting to wrestle away from my cuddling clutches. And since the entire restaurant probably thought we were insane by then, we may or may not have held our napkins up in front of us like a curtain to pretend we really were alone. And the newest Kindergartner may or may not have served as a buzz kill announcing that she could hear everything we were saying during our pretend candle light dinner on the other side of the pretend curtain.

14. The writers on that show Damages are very talented. Just when I was starting to lose a little interest they’ve sucked me back in. I can’t decide who killed that wife. I also can’t decide if the husband’s a good actor, a scumbag, an innocent victim or maybe a little of each.

15. Since watching the post Super Bowl episode of The Office, I've been torturing my husband every night before bed asking him to describe how he feels when I walk in the room. Sometimes I like to conduct practical exercises by actually entering a room and then quizzing him on his feelings at the exact moment he saw me. I know. You wish you could be married to me. Sorry. Taken.