Another skill I rarely mention on my resume

I wish lazy was a marketable skill. Not so much because lazy is awesome but because I'm awesome at it. If it were marketable, I would no doubt be the rock star of lazy and make millions thereby ensuring my ability to sit around on my butt perfecting my craft and thereby ensuring my job security until the end of time.

I could pretend I'd get bored being lazy for a living but let's be honest, that would be a lie. Because I'm very good at finding stupid ways to waste my time and I could get paid to sit on my butt all day and I swear I'd still forget to make dentist appointments and call the insurance company.

I'm currently blaming my inability to get a dentist appointment scheduled on my job though. Because I have a lot of crap to do all day long and sometimes there's literally a line of people outside my door waiting to talk to me and I always have like three non essential "this would be fun" sort of projects I could potentially work on if I had three spare minutes so then I never really end up with spare minutes.

The other day a work friend called needing a work related favor and I was so busy I literally forgot about her until 2 hours later. I never do that. I'm always good for solid. And I forgot her. I had to make the "I am scum don't hate me for being spacey I swear I'll do your favor so well you'll name your first born after me" phone call of shame. Thankfully, my friend has forgotten me before, too. So I got away with "I am scum don't hate me for being spacey I swear I'll do your favor this time for real." But I was prepared to offer to buy her a coke and be her best friend. Just because I'm lazy doesn't mean I don't know how to grovel.

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