I was also scared I'd fail. Scared I'd start and do good for four days and then lose focus and be right back in the Taco Bell drive thru. I'd been down that road before many times. I decided all that was just too much to worry about. I decided to just not think about it. I decided to just focus on one day at a time and one small decision at a time.
I started by giving up fast food and soda. The caffeine withdrawal was nearly fatal. I pushed through it one complaint after another. When that felt less like death, I started trying to eat more normal sized portions. When that became more palatable, I started counting calories and tracking them on my phone.
I also started walking. It was 100 degrees outside and I did it anyway. But I didn't walk fast in the beginning. I just committed to going out and doing it for 30 minutes. Once that stopped killing me to get through, I decided to make an effort and actually try walking fast. Every time it stopped feeling like death, I'd up the ante some more until I was hauling butt speed walking. Then I dusted off my Wii Fit. Then I decided to pretend I'm a runner. If it didn't feel hard, that was how I knew it wasn't enough and that I needed to think of something new.
Along the way I've picked up lots of annoying overly healthy habits like not shoveling everything I see in my mouth and drinking tons and tons of water and spending inordinate amounts of time trekking to the bathroom. And I'm not perfect. I mess up. A lot. I've inhaled crap I shouldn't including cupcakes and cookies and deep fried chicken tenders and lots and lots of Cadbury mini eggs that I'm convinced are addictive. But if I mess up, I still keep coming.
Because it's not about being perfect. It's just about doing better. Better than last July. That's enough for me. If I'm just doing better than last July, it's a good day. And I've had more good days than bad. And my scale shows it. This girl has lost 60 pounds as of May 3, 2013.
When I started, my goal was to get under 145. Before I had children, that was a comfortable weight for me. And by comfortable, I mostly mean it was a weight I thought was about right for my frame but that I didn't have to starve myself to achieve. That's how I thought of it and I typically wore loose size 12s at that weight. Imagine my surprise when I slipped into a size 10 before I even got to that weight thanks to all that exercise.
Since hitting 60 pounds lost, I've had a lot of people ask me if I'd done. There are lots of super sweet ladies in my office that have actually insisted I hold firm where I'm at. I tell them I'm not sure where I'm headed from here. I've hit the only number I really cared about getting to. And this journey that got me here has me in the best shape of my life and made 144.4 lbs. look better than I ever remember it looking before in my life. I never thought 145 would look like this. I never thought I could run a half marathon. I never thought I could run anywhere ever.
Challenging the things I thought I knew about myself has been good for me. The quality of my life has improved including my energy level, confidence and the amount of time I spend per day with a smile on my face.
It was difficult. But so was being overweight. I'm a lazy wench that complains a lot. If I can do it, you can, too.
|Wearing the same pair of pants from my 204.4 lb before photo. Two of me could fit in them now.|
|Same swimsuit. It's a slimming spanx kinda suit from Eddie Bauer that is now so baggy it would be wildly inappropriate to attempt to wear it in public for fear of the straps falling off my shoulders.|