The Sentence to Finish this week is "I used to . . ." I'm moderately proud of myself for successfully resisting the nearly overpowering urge to list all of the big fun stuff I used to do before kids and will will resume doing again someday in the future when they are able to drive. I'm also moderately proud of myself for resisting the urge to mention in that sentence that they would be driving a car they paid for themselves with wages paid to them by an employer that offers health insurance.
But watever. Things I used to . . .
1. I used to know where I parked my car in the parking lot at work. We moved to a new building recently and I’m officially the chick wandering around the new parking lot trying to locate her car. I worked in my old building for like 8 years. I had a row I always parked on for 8 years. If I got there early, I was in the spot on that row closest to the door. If I got to work late, I was further down the row. I always just walked down my row.
But the rows go the other way at my new building. I’m left pathetically wandering with my keys in my hand. I thought I’d made progress just remembering to drive to the new building instead of my old building. We will not discuss how many days I did not successfully do that.
But then I discovered that people have noticed my random wandering in the new parking lot and have been commenting on it to me at the proverbial water cooler the next day. One guy tried to suggest I played it off well when I had to make a complete u-turn and walk back up three rows. I said there was no playing it off involved and that if he’d been out there I’d have announced it to him. He then did me a favor and announced this to three of his closest neighbors for their entertainment as well.
2. I used to have a proverbial water cooler at work. Now I have a water fountain one long hike and a flight of stairs away. But let’s not go back to that first world problem I already bored the first world with yesterday.
3. I used to like professional sports and followed them religiously. Since having children it's just something on my television to frustrate me by running long and making my DVR miss the last 10 minutes of Big Brother every week. It’s only August and this is unlikely to improve as we move into the regular season.
This is what I look like when the DVR stops right before I find out who got nominated for eviction. Well, minus the pajamas that are 3 sizes too small leaving the belly out and the snow boots in August. Did I mention this a kid that just walked in the door from a trip to McDonald's for ice cream. Clampetts for life, yo.
4. I used to pluck my stray gray hairs. Lately they’ve been arriving, I’ve been noticing and then I’ve been moving on with my day. I’m not saying I’m giving in. I’m just saying I’ve been spending my extra 30 seconds moisturizing my dry face instead. When I locate an additional 30 seconds, I reserve the right to return to plucking them.
Cute. Sweet. Gray hair inducing.
5. I used to hate FroYo. I know. What the hell was I thinking? I guess I thought it was a pale imitation of the real thing. But that stuff’s Tas-ty. It's especially Tas-ty if you are trying not to inhale your weight in Rolos like I did last week. Rumor has it another bag of Rolos entered my house recently so I may need to inhale some FroYo this weekend. And by “some” I mean a really, really giant bowl.
Linking up with Kate for Finish the Sentence Friday and Darci for Five on Friday: