1. After posting about our dog, Honey Wheat, and his crack whore addiction to swiping loaves of bread off our counter, I wandered over to Pinterest and fell into the well of Dog Shaming pictures. They are essentially photos of dogs with a sign that lays out that dog’s most egregious crime against their owner. There are all different kinds ranging from a foot in a cast and a sign saying the dog tripped the owner all the way up to dogs actually chewing on money or someone’s hard earned college diploma. My favorites are the ones about dogs eating things they shouldn’t. My personal favorite is two dogs in a sea of stuffing they pulled out of a couch they were eating and the sign says, “This is why Mom and Dad can’t have nice things.”
I feel that owner’s pain. So much so that I want to drive to that owner’s house and hold hands. We’ve lost a couch, part of a pillow top mattress and too many pillows to count. My husband has wanted to buy a brand new couch for roughly 7 years now and everytime he explains to me why he wants it I explain to him why I will blow a gasket if we pay several thousand dollars for nice new furniture and they eat a hole in it. I will be physically incapable of cohabitating with those dogs. So the furniture is on hold. For 7 years.
2. I pinned so many dog shaming pictures I decided Honey Wheat needed his own dog shaming photo to commemorate his crimes against humanity.
|I love how happy that ninny looks while posing with the evidence. See what we're up against?|
|Looking slightly more apologetic for his crimes.|
3. And since Honey Wheat is a repeat offender, I couldn’t decide if Honey Wheat’s most egregious crime was the bread or the watermelon he inhaled in its entirety.
|He did. Rind and all. He's nuts.|
|My husband's shame is apparently so great he felt the need to cover his face.|
|The willing accomplice.|