The Clampetts went camping

I fell back into the Breaking Bad well last week. I blame this on mistakenly thinking season 5 only had 8 episodes which seemed like a breeze to get through.  I blame that mistake on Netflix for not making it clear that there were 2 parts to Season 5.  And I blame that madness on the crazy Breaking Bad people because what the hell is 2 parts of 1 season.  That's 2 seasons, bro.  Part 1 even ended with an exciting cliffhanger. Seriously. That’s called a season finale. The next episode is a new season not part 2. Whatev.

I managed to tear myself away from Breaking Bad long enough to agree to go on a family camp out with my 7 year old’s new Cub Scout pack.

2 nights. Tent. Cold. And I wore a headlamp to dinner. I got tired of taking it off and on so at one point I just kind of pushed it back like a headband and wore it while chatting with other grown adults. What has become of me. 

The 7 year old was in heaven the entire time. This is a kid that wanted to be in Cub Scouts last year and his mother somehow dodged it while her husband was traveling extensively last year. This year there was no dodging. Not for lack of trying. But because that kid was hell bent on Cub Scouts. He brought me the flyer. He chatted me up repeatedly. He willingly offered to give up every other activity he holds near and dear in exchange for joining Cub Scouts. But the icing on the cake was that the kid that never knows the date and time of anything and would forget his head if it wasn’t screwed on committed the first meeting to memory and reminded me every day for the week leading up to it. Only a scum bag would blow him off. So we didn’t.

One person in this photo is excited heading off on a camping adventure.  One person in this photo can't believe she's stuck sitting next to her brother for 2 hours. 

So far it mostly resembles herding cats. And so far I’m mostly just thankful I’m not in charge of the herding. But my son loves it. Like big puffy heart loves it. This proves useful when he wants to behave like a jerk during piano lessons. A couple threats about returning his brand new Cub Scout uniform to the store and all was right in the world again.

Camping was new territory for us though. Our kids have only ever camped in a tent in the living room. Taking our tent outside was a big step. Taking our tent outside 2 hours from our house was an even bigger step.

Plus I’m not much of an outdoorsy girl. I enjoy sleeping on a mattress that doesn’t blow up, changing clothes regularly and central heat and air. For that matter, I like being able to get up to go to the bathroom at 3 am without it being a whole event. I drink a lot of water. I’m going to have to go. It shouldn’t require a headlamp, a coat, flip flops and wandering half asleep through the night hoping no other grown adults see me like that. I would also like it noted that there is no quiet way to get out of a tent with 4 people in it. Just sayin. Also sayin car alarms going off at 6 am are a complete party foul.

 

But the trip was fun. It’s mostly fun now that I reflect back on it 3 days later. Mid camping trip I was mostly sleep deprived and hoping to make it through dinner without going full crab cake on anyone. But my son was in heaven and that makes it exponentially more fun to reflect back on.

He was looking at animal tracks. He was picking out a walking stick and helping to smooth it down. And he wore the same clothes for two days. He tried wearing them for three days but managed to submerge the lower half of his body in water while walking by the lake. My husband tried to tell me he could just wear them wet despite the fact that the sun was going down soon. I tried to tell him I wasn’t ready to go full Clampett and that we packed extra pants for a reason. Deploy the new pants and be done with it.

Too bad someone let the world’s spaciest 2nd grader pack for himself. I’m not saying you can’t let a 2nd grader pack. I’m just saying you should maybe spot check his choices. Because if you don’t he may choose capris with a hole in the knee when the temperatures are going to be in the 40s. My husband suggested rolling the hem of the capris up a little so they looked less high water. I guess he was thinking someone would confuse our kid with Huck Finn. He mostly looked insane and they unrolled eventually anyway. I suggested we just embrace the crazy. Can’t be any worse than his mother wearing the head lamp to dinner anyway.

I'd subject the interwebs to photos of the camping shenanigans except my trusty iPhone battery died 3 minutes after I got out of the car.  So for everyone keeping score at home, I was wearing a head lamp, sleeping on the ground, sleep deprived and cut of from civilization.   On the downside, I had a lot of photos to scroll through on Instagram.  On the upside, it's not half bad unplugging for 3 days and reminding yourself of the important things in life.

I die.

Someday when that little 2nd grader is a grown adult and tries to tell me I never did anything for him, I will tote out this camping trip as an example of just how wrong he is. This female ain’t sleeping with her face shoved into the side of a tent for her health. I got sucked into the vortex of cute that is an excited little Cub Scout in his new uniform. Sigh.