Ebb and Flow

While standing in Target watching my three year old daughter try on women's shoes, my thoughts went something like this:

Dude, she's been trying them on for 20 minutes. That's crazy. I can't believe I haven't tried to hurry her along once. Do other mother's do this? Because this is really boring. I think my brain's turning to mush the longer I stand here. But it's kinda nice of me to do this. She's having so much fun. That's nice. And it's not like we have anything else to be doing. I should get a gold star as a mother today.

Thirty minutes later, while standing near the exit attempting to convince the same three year old to put a bag of Cheetos back so we can leave, my thoughts went something like this:

This kid is on my nerves. How the hell am I supposed to back up any threats about dragging her out of the store with her 30 pound bowling ball brother on my hip? I need to watch Super Nanny more. I'm pretty sure she's never pinned a three year old against the checkout counter with her legs to prevent her from darting out the door with contraband Cheetos. I look like an idiot. I suck. She is so not getting any candy or expensive presents tonight.