Excuse me while I pretend I’m a psychotic talking crotch
My husband and I like to play games with each other. Once upon a time, I regularly kicked his butt at Scrabble. Now that we have small kids, Scrabble sounds like a big freakin mess of playing pieces waiting to happen. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure giving birth sucked 73% of the brains out of my head to make room for all 19,000 verses of Wheels on the Bus. So now we make up our own games. They require little brainpower and absolutely no talent. The only object of the game is to crack someone up. It's okay if you're the only one laughing though. That counts, too. Scott’s favorite is impersonating me. Only instead of trying to recreate something I actually said he likes to impersonate what he thinks are the inner workings of my mind. It’s like me, only psychotic and really hostile. And I sound like Cartman. I enjoy that game as well. I like to do a psychotic talking crotch version of Scott. Nothing points out to your husband that you will not be washing your own Mother’s Day breakfast dishes like a talking crotch raving about lazy ungrateful women that need to get up off their lazy butts. But that’s not my favorite game. I prefer Together Thursday (or whatever day of the week you pick). The object of Together Thursday is to stick to your spouse like glue. I like to actually put my arms around Scott and sort of hang off of him for as long as possible while he makes a sandwich, flosses his teeth, walks down the hall, etc. When he watches TV, I’ll just sit next to him staring at him. That’s a really good one. Gets a rise every time. And when we had a shower with a door on it, I’d hop on the toilet and peer my head over the top of the door and just make random small talk. You know, like there’s nothing odd about your wife stalking you in the shower. Lately we’ve been using a shower with a curtain on it. On Mother’s Day (which it goes without saying is automatically Together Sunday) I stepped right into the shower fully clothed just holding the shower curtain out in front of me to keep dry. Scott opened his eyes from soaping his hair and I just casually asked if he needed anything. Priceless. The couple that plays together stays together.