Take the coins

I returned home from work today to discover that the World's Most Annoying Dog had destroyed a backrest pillow. We only owned the pillow 4 months. It matched the limited decor in our living room. His choice of things to eat is remarkably unfortunate.

He did such a number on the backrest pillow that it's entirely beyond repair. My first instinct was to lock him out of the house and hope he ran away. Unfortunately I know from having accidentally locked him out once that he knows a good thing when he's got it. He just laid in the front yard the entire time waiting for me to realize my mistake. He happily trotted inside as soon as I opened the door.

I walked directly passed the shredded backrest and went to the bathroom. While utilizing the facilities I heard it rain coins in the dining room. As soon as I heard the first clink it came back to me that my husband had left a basket of coins on the table. He's attempting to roll $50 in coins because he woke up this morning and decided 24 hours in a day is just too much time on his hands. Next week he's building a moat around the house and some turrets for our imaginary archers. Then we're going to amass an army in our cedar closet and storm Mordor because we've got nothing but time, baby.

My husband had mentioned forgetting to put his little time killer away when I talked to him on the phone earlier. He said I should put it away as soon as I got home so it wouldn't get spilled. What he should have told me was that I'd need to engage in a foot race to the front door because our 18 month old is like a coin seeking missile and I'd only have 90 seconds to detonate the potential threat. It was impressive work. Wax on.

Since the damage was already done, I walked right passed that mess too. Left it there while I changed out of my work clothes, served dinner and threw everyone in the tub. I figure, why rush through the fun parts of your day. One should savor the quiet moments spent on your hands and knees communing with your carpet. Although I'm done communing. I'm ready to pay someone to take the coins now. I'll even throw in a free dog. Just please take the coins.


Happy Working Mom said...

I know exactly how you feel. At least you were able to forget about the "problems" for a while...dealing that crap then would have just made it worse!

Christy said...

Well you handled things much betterthan I would of that is for sure. My Hubby would have a wonderful present waiting for him when he walked through the door :)

Amy W said...

Let me know when the moat is done :).

Kim said...

You should challenge yourself to see how mnay movie references you can fit into one post. You could then challenge your readers to find all the movie references. I bet you'd slip several past us all.

sorry about the mess, that's my house everday when i get home from work... even if nobody was home. (sigh)

Kim @ TheBitterBall

a happier girl said...

happy - Oh, yeah. Sometimes it's best to just walk on by.

christy - It's funny you should say that! Because I totally left the shredded back pillow for him to clean up. Because the World's Most Annoying Dog is most definitely my husband's dog not mine.

amy - We're going to knock that weekend out this weekend. The master bathroom renovation is 10 1/2 months in and no toilet but I'm telling you, we need a moat so it'll get done.

kim - I think yesterday's mess was particularly annoying to me because I actually cleaned the whole house Sunday. It looked so nice. What do the dogs and kids have against a clean house?

Childlife said...

Your 'wax on' comment made me laugh out loud. We always joke about that with our 19-month-old and his flying hands when you are either trying to get something into his mouth, out of his mouth, or away from his hands - too funny!

Your husband's time fillers crack me up too... I don't even ask anymore around here. I mean our bathroom is half-tiled, we have a banister half-way re-vamped, half a bed room painted, half a living room painted and two random holes punched in the ceiling of the laundry room that have never made sense to me, but hey, who am I to stop you when you decide that the CD's in the changer need to be alphabetized by artist AND music genre...??

My children and pets also appear to have engaged in some sort of vendetta against clean and organized living spaces as well... Sympathies from a fellow carpet communer.

a happier girl said...

Our husband's should get together! I swear I do not understand how he has free time to roll coins.

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