Working after Christmas sucks. It feels like everyone in the whole wide world is at home except me. But I only recently got promoted so I'm sort of last in line to get time off during the holidays. Which means I get to work the super lame-o week after Christmas. Apparently, I’m not entirely useless after all.
My least favorite thing about working the day after Christmas is how empty the office is. Some people like that. Because some people are nuts. I enjoy a little office chatter way more than I enjoy the best parking spot in the entire lot. Even when I’m working I like to keep my ears perked up for interesting conversations in the vicinity. You never know when someone will have something wildly inappropriate to say. And if it’s wildly inappropriate, it needs to be emailed to a minimum of 5 of your nearest and dearest office buddies stat.
Christmas was fun. I had several days off before Christmas which was fun squared. Saturday morning the newest 4 year old sat on Santa's lap and asked for bubble gum and a princess dress. Sunday morning it dawned on Santa that you’re actually supposed to produce the requested items. You’d be amazed how easily Santa gets lost in these little details. Whatever. She's new on the job.
Santa promptly dragged her lazy butt over to Target only to discover that there had been a run on princess dresses while she wasn’t paying attention. Santa would rather fling herself head first into a wood chipper than enter Toys R Us 2 days before Christmas so she decided to hit 6 other Targets instead. 7 Targets in one day should get you a prize or something. Like maybe a photo on the wall next to the returns counter. At minimum, Santa should have at least been able to score the correct sized dress. Instead, she had to settle for one she figured the newest 4 year old would be able to cram herself into without ripping the seams.
Santa’s efforts were rewarded Christmas morning when it became apparent that the newest 4 year old firmly believed the princess dress would be there. After opening many presents that did not contain a princess dress I suggested that she didn’t get one. She explained to me that it must be in some other box. She even suggested that it was behind the Christmas tree where we couldn't see it. Because she asked Santa for it. And that meant Santa would bring it. Luckily, she did.
Santa's not perfect but she's learning. Next year, for example, we'll be visiting Santa earlier. To hell with saving fun stuff like that until right before Christmas. Santa needs lead time to locate stuff. And my kid's like a loose canon anyway. Three weeks ago she swore she was asking Santa for a plastic pony. Last week it was going to be a plastic zoo. Anything could pop out of her mouth when it's showtime on Santa's knee. Santa doesn't have a magic wand. Santa needs time. And free shipping from Amazon.
Next year Santa's also going to do more wrapping before Christmas Eve. Granted, Santa did a good job planning ahead to get the "some assembly required" kitchen set together ahead of time. But other items required paper and they weren't going to wrap themselves.
Santa's also going to attempt to designate some "Santa only" wrapping paper. You know, so Santa's paper isn't the same as Momma and Daddy's paper. Santa's husband actually had that revelation mid wrap job. Mid wrap job using assorted rolls of paper. Furthermore, the wrapping was occurring at the dining room table just down the hall from the newest 4 year old who had only gone to bed 5 minutes before and was most likely still awake.
Dude, this Santa stuff is complicated. Who knew. It's a good thing we've got another year to work on stepping up our game.