Things My Children Have Actually Said to Me

"You're not a whore, Momma. You're a Care Bear."

On the bright side, at least my 4 year old doesn't think I'm a whore. On the downside, yeah, well, pretty much the whole thing. Although it's funny. But not water cooler conversation funny. Because people inevitably want to know where she picked up the word "whore." Whatever. Like they've never amused themselves by calling their spouse a whore. And they'd probably have me believe their spouse's imaginary girlfriend doesn't have a name either. Nice try. I wasn't born yesterday. I know normal.


Ree said...

Mr. Hot has an imaginery girlfriend. And I know her. "That Tall Blonde".


Thank goodness Shortman is 16. He just shakes his head sadly. You know he's thinking "Hell. My parents are freakin' strange."

Christine said...

that has to be one of the funnier things i have heard. i would have asked which care bear though - you wouldn't want to be the one with the rain cloud (lol - do they even have that one still!)

miss_moneymaker said...

OMG kids do say funny things..lol
At least he thinks your a care bear.

BTW you have been tagged for a zodiac meme.

Leigh said...

I am just laughing so hard, I can hardly type. At least said little one did not call the check out girl, a relative or some unknown uptight person a whore!

Anne said...

When you write your first book, that should be the title. Thank you for making me laugh.

a happier girl said...

ree - See!

christine - Too funny! I'd like to be the yellow sunshine-y bear. Or maybe that one with the rainbow. Definitely not the rain cloud though.

miss moneymaker - Very true!

leigh - Right! I'm not sure how you're supposed to play off your kid calling the check out person at the grocery store a whore!

anne - You're very welcome! And excellent suggestion about the book title! I'll dedicate it to my little Care Bear in training.

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