2.05.2008

Don’t worry. The stuffed turtle is dry now.

Last night, I blow dried a stuffed turtle. A turtle I’m forced to call a dog by the newest 4 year old. She spilled water on the turtle while water coloring at the dining room table. I feel somewhat confident that my brother and I were never allowed to water paint at the dining room table. My mother had a keen eye for activities prone to messes and always routed them outside. I, on the other hand, like to make sure my children do them over carpet. Just one of the many ways I like to bring a fresh new perspective to parenting. It’s also how I end up blow drying a stuffed turtle.

Luckily, the blow drying didn’t take long. I was able to get right back to my busy schedule of laying around watching DVR’d episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8. That’s the TLC show about the couple who had twins followed by sextuplets. My husband can’t figure out what I like about the show. Specifically, I think it’s the screaming that gets him. It resembles our house. Except they have 4 times as many kids so there’s 4 times as much screaming. I think it’s the parents’ ability to not lose their minds with all the noise and chaos that has me riveted. My husband on the other hand likes to watch television to escape the screaming in our own house. So shows that involve screaming don’t really interest him.

My favorite part was when the father showed us the $.99 ear plugs he wears when they ride in the car. I only have two kids and I’ve contemplated ear plugs before. He says you can still hear but that it dampens the noise. I'm seriously contemplating trying it. And I’d like Kate to come over and dress my kids in little matchy matchy outfits and organize their birthday parties. But I would not like to be married to her because she seems kind of hard on her husband. Although, honestly, every time she makes a comment that I think might drive me nuts if I was married to her, I immediately forgive her because she’s at home all day with 8 kids and that’s enough to turn the nicest person you ever met into a total shrew so if that’s as shrew-ish as she gets she’s actually doing really well and Oprah should name her mother of the year and buy her a house or something.

Technically, I’m convinced their both on some sort of anti-anxiety medication. Doesn’t make you a bad person to need a little something something to keep your head above water. My husband says he’d have needed medication starting back when they had the twins. He also says he’d have skipped town before the sextuplets were born because even medication would not have been enough to see him through dealing with 8 small children. Which is okay, really, because I wouldn’t have missed him. Because my head would have exploded during the initial sonogram. And once your head has exploded, it’s difficult to miss anyone.

I also love how bare their house is of decorations. No curtains. No coffee table. No bookcases with knick knacks. I always want to know if they preemptively packed the stuff away to avoid it getting destroyed or if their kids have just destroyed everything. This probably fascinates me because we currently have a coffee table that’s been pushed up against a wall for three years and has only been used to store children’s books. I also went through a period of storing the kids shoes next to the garage door to easily get shoes on everyone before we left the house. These are not things I see in everyone’s house. I appreciate that their house seems very, very normal. And real. And the parents are funny. They seem like people I’d enjoy having dinner with. Unlike the Duggars who have 17 kids and seem like the sort of people that would make me feel like putting my headphones on if I was stuck sitting next to them on a plane. I’m sure they’re lovely people. Just not my cup of tea. And I’m not just saying that because the wife has hideous hair.

11 comments:

Robyn said...

I always wonder the same thing about peoples' homes on TV that have kids. Our entertainment center kinck knack shelves have been replaced by toys. The only period of time there is nothing on the living room floor is after the girl has gone to bed and I've picked up the mess. We need a playroom.

Shan said...

I'm with you on the Duggar lady. I hate to admit it, but Jon and Kate seems more together with 8 then I do most days with 2.

Ree said...

8 kids? Shoot.me.now.

Debbie said...

I share your Jon and Kate fascination! I just can't imagine--that's like a preschool class 24/7. The thought alone is painful.
And the Duggers? Just stop already.

Maggie said...

Jon and Kate? I'm totally with you, and I totally love them. And the Duggers? I am also totally with you...I do not totally love them. Although every time I flip past their family on tv I have to stop and watch a minute - it is sort of like a car accident, I just can't turn away immediately...

McQuestionable2 said...

I heart Jon and Kate. I do agree with you that Kate's got a bit of a b*tchy side to her, but then again, who wouldn't?! She had six babies inside her - she wins.

Anne said...

You are making me laugh; I'm going to have to watch this show now.

Christy said...

I too love Jon and Kate! I think mostly cause it makes me feel better when I see how she sometimes treats her Hubby...I know that is totally horrible, but the gosh darn truth :) It also makes me very thankful for my ONE child.

agirlinprogress said...

John & Kate! I know right?! How the heck does she stay so patient with those kids? She's amazing to me. The way she still lets her kids like help her in the kitchen...I would've been telling them to "go play!" long ago. lol I agree that she would be tough to be married to because she's a bit overbearing, but they seem to do well together. She's so witty she cracks me up sometimes too. It's like being in my home...or one of my friends. Love them!
and p.s...
I had the funnies Dugger picture for you, but it won't let me put it on here! :( It was a picture of their family that said" VAGINA... it's not a clown car!" lol

Kristy said...

I watch Jon and Kate too. I haven't totally decided what I think about them. Jon seems a tad sarcastic and unsupportive at times, and Kate...yeeeikes. She's just GROUCHY. But then, like you said, eight kids. I'd be hanging out at the Nut Farm, popping the good stuff and gently rocking myself.

We actually live in the same town as the Duggars. Yay, us! They're part celebrity/part Freak Show here as well. Did you know they didn't start having kids until they'd been married for four years?? Their count could easily be up in the twenties. (I'm sure it will before they're done.) Can you imagine Michelle's innards? Her guts must be about to just fall out everytime she hiccups.

a happier girl said...

robyn - Ditto. Right here. We improved things a lot giving the kids a corner of the living room for their playhouse and play kitchen set. But it still explodes outward if they play Legos or farm or anything. I never understand how some people's houses look so tidy you can't even tell they have kids.

shan - Yes! I know. I get so frazzled with just two it constantly amazes me when they have 8 kids running around and they're just perfectly calm about it. Like when she's cooking at the stove letting kids help but there's kids underfoot. I'd seriously flip a lid and she's so calm.

ree - I know. Shoot me two while you're at it. Could not handle it.

debbie - I know! Like when they're out in the driveway and she's bringing a tray full of cups out to everyone!

maggie - Oh, I've stopped and watched the Duggars for few minutes before too. I just find them kind of disturbing. I also can't really identify with them. But I can identify with Kate and Jon.

mcquestionable - I know! Kate has her moments but I swear I can forgine her almost anything because she's just got so much on her plate and she handles it so much better than I ever could.

anne - You should! It's fun. Makes anything less than 8 kids seem a lot less intimidating.

christy - I know! When I feel frazzled with my two, watching them handle 8 kinda inspires me and makes me appreciate my two.

agirlinprogress - Yes! I can't believe they let the kids help in the kitchen! Letting one of my kids help is enough to make me rip my hair out sometimes. And I agree she seems witty. I totally wouldn't mind being friends with her.

kristy - I can't imagine seeing the Duggars live and in person! I'm sure I'd stare. Mostly at the mother's hair. Because what on Earth. You're on national television. Get thee to a hair salon for some professional guidance with it.

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