The candy stronghold has been compromised

Everyone's your friend when they think the candy stronghold is secure in the giant bowl on the kitchen counter. But tell those same people you took the candy to work and suddenly nobody knows your name. Never mind that one of them suggested you take the candy to work to get rid of it. Never mind that everyone was grazing on Kit Kats and Milk Duds for five days straight. And definitely never mind that everyone knows we only ended up with three giants bags of leftover candy because one of them went grocery shopping while he was hungry and returned with $30 in candy, 8 pounds of assorted meats, 3 kinds of eggos, six frozen pizzas and so much Rice-a-Roni he actually had to reorganize our pantry to make room for it.

I think the lesson to be learned here is twofold. One, friends don't let friends grocery shop hungry. Two, don't give a man's candy away. It could affect the quality and duration of your cuddle time later that night.