Running on molten lava

One of my favorite things about our house is that we have a large master bathroom.   When I say large, I mean it’s three or four times the size of the postage stamp we used to call our master bathroom.  The postage stamp didn’t even have space for a bathtub.  We put an all glass shower stall in it to give the illusion of more space and if someone was sitting on the toilet, the door to the shower could literally touch their face if you opened it. That's a nice way of saying sometimes the door nailed you in the forehead. Crazy small.

We moved 2 ½ years ago.  We love our new house.  We love many things about it.  One of my favorite things about it is the large master bathroom.  The roomy spa tub is above average awesome.  Two sinks so that two grown adults don’t have to share sink space is nice, too.  But the large amount of space is the real perk.   And because of the space, it has somehow managed to become my weight room.

Yes, weight room.  I know.  That’s random.  That’s also the story of my life.

But it has enough space and there are bath mats on the floor if I decide to do some sit ups.  The counter works good for pansy push ups I'm prone to.  And the edge of the tub has been great for dips.  And best of all, I’m right there near the kids the whole time.  They’re generally in bedroom and I can see their goofball little faces goofing off in the next room.  They often come wandering through the bathroom chatting with me.  If I look extra sweaty funkadelic that day, my 9 year old will even take some photos of the cracked out mess.  I feel better squeezing a little something in knowing it doesn’t even take me away from them.  I also like that it doesn’t involve Jillian Michaels’ voice. 
Cracked out bathroom workout caught on camera by 9 year old paparazzi.
I even have a stupid little bucket behind the door I toss the assorted weights into and I now take my running shoes off and toss them on top, too.  So basically, other than the fact that the room contains a toilet, it’s pretty much perfect. 

I had been trying to alternate between bicep curls, shoulder presses and dips (I love how I sound like I know what I'm talking about knowing the names of three exercises!) on the side of the tub.  But I got really tired of counting reps so I’ve been trying out intervals thinking I could just set it to go and tell me when to move on to another exercise. I haven’t perfected the timing since I do require a moment to catch my breath and move on to the next exercise.  I also haven’t mastered mapping out different exercises to do.
 But my husband’s always telling me some blah blah blah about HIIT and your heart being a muscle and needing to work it out like other muscles.  It’s all very over my head.  But I did catch on that it’s good for your overall fitness level and that it ups the amount of calories you are burning.  So I’ve been drinking the Koolaid giving it a go.   My kids favorite is when I pretend I’m a linebacker running through tires but also think I look pretty ridiculous doing star jumping jacks.  They would also like it noted that I don’t do jumping jacks right because there’s no hand clap overhead.  No clap, no credit.  Everyone’s a critic.

The Italian Stallion joins in on the intervals and it’s actually sort of awesome because he can do his own little modified hard as hell version while I’m doing girly sissy push ups or something.  As an example, while I’m grunting around the room with a 15 pound weight that dude’s flinging a 40 pound kettle bell around town.  Holla.  Gun show at our house!

Even our roomy bathroom wasn’t big enough for 2 person interval-ing though so we moved it outside the first time.  Our children stood in the kitchen watching through the screen door as their crazy parents did circuits of squats, push ups and jumping jacks.  My husband insisted the circuits could not be done inside in the air conditioning.  Our dogs insisted they could not be done without them licking the sweat off of us. 
Our children stood in the kitchen watching through the screen door as their crazy parents did circuits of squats, push ups and jumping jacks in the backyard. Let's all agree to not look at my muffin top because the paparazzi didn't do me any favors waiting for me to be mid squat to take the picture. 
Another day, we took it to the bedroom and the kids joined in alternating between attempting the exercise and monitoring the interval clock.  Then the dogs were on the bed staring at all 4 of us.  It was amusing.  It was also the world’s best exercise moment because it was infinitely more fun doing it with all of them.  The new me, the one that’s 60 pounds lighter than she used to be, loves that they are in this with me.   I couldn’t have done it if it meant leaving them behind.
A little hard to see me thanks to the dog licking me during my sissy push ups.
I've also been running.  It is 100 degrees where I live all summer long.  It starts to get pretty warm in May and the sidewalk is pretty much molten lava by July.  I only started Couch to 5K in September.  I have never attempted to run on molten lava.
Bathroom break mid 6 mile run.  Test driving running with a visor.  Above average dorky but not bad. 
The temperature has been rising since the beginning of May and I've started to worry about how it will affect my workout routines.    I am a delicate flower that does not enjoy the heat.  I'm addicted to air conditioning all summer and routinely tell my husband to check the thermostat.  I'm worried that the molten lava will sap my will to live.  Or worse, my will to workout.
The visor really adds to the sweaty cracked out madness.  My husband would also like it noted that he thinks I look like an old lady.

I concluded that it was either the treadmill or suck it up.  Since I hate the treadmill, I was going to have to make friends with the molten lava.   I figured I'd just take more water breaks and run slower when it feels like death.  So it'll be pretty much like every run I've ever taken.

I sweat a lot anyway.  What's an extra trickle running down my spine? Having to run slower was a little disappointing.  One of my goals has been to attempt to run faster.  The temperature has only gotten up to the 80s with humidity of 300 million percent.   But it's already taken my already slow pace of 10:15 per mile down to 10:45 a mile.  It ain't pretty.  But I'm upright and moving.  I'll take it.  I've been successfully taking it on 6 and 7 mile long runs on the weekend.  Go, me.
Since my nomadic husband is no longer nomadic, he's been coming on some of my runs with me..  I pretty much look at his butt for 30 minutes.  Sometimes I get to look at his butt bent over picking up dog poop, too.  Feel the marital bliss.
A blurry glimpse of what I look at running with my husband. 
My husband tends to run ahead of me in an attempt to get me to run faster.  I've suggested to him that I might run faster if he didn't make me wait until high noon to run on the weekend when it's as hot as hell.  Just sayin'.

His canine companion is also out of shape dead weight dragging us down by the 2nd mile.  He is in need of some doggie Couch to 5K stat.  My husband likes to take the petering out dog as a sign that he should head home, too.  Weak.

When we don't have the dog, he's also been subjecting me to wind sprints.  Up hill.  At one point I got to the top of the hill and he had the nerve to ask my why I didn't sprint.  I had to explain to him that he was looking at my sprint.  He's a stallion. An Italian Stallion.  And it shows.  He'd rather we sprint the whole way.  I'd rather live to tell the tale.   So far so good.   Sore, but good.

Linking up with Skinny Meg for Workout Wednesday!


Jenn said...

Haha, I loved your post!! Great job! And I just got my first visor, too and I'm loving it - no sting-y sweat in my eyes is good!

Shelley said...

You are rocking those home workouts - what a great example to show your kids, too. Love it. :)

As for running in the heat, hello - Texan here. It's brutal. I do most of my runs early; it's still stupid hot and humid, but at least the sun isn't burning me to a crisp, too.

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