Crappy Reality Television: Tragedy at My House

Last night, I was forced to explain to my children that there is no justice in this life. I was forced to explain to them that dreams die and bad things happen to good people. That life is pain and they should just accept it.

For some people, these topics come up after shocking verdicts or when some tragic crime occurs. In my house, it was the elimination of the B-Double O-T-Y guys on America’s Got Talent.  We're nothing if not a household with its priorities in order. 

Our household priorities also include trying on every stupid mask we see in every store we enter. 

On the one hand, the sweet country guy was saved and that made us happy. We cried during his first audition when he talked about his sweet wife. Okay, so maybe I was the only one that did any actual crying. But still. We’re pretty sure he’d be a nice dad and a super considerate neighbor. So it made us happy he gets another chance.

But then they eliminated the B-Double O-T-Y guys and that’s when confusion reigned. What does America have against a self proclaimed 1 hit wonder? Does America not enjoy laughing? Why does America hate laughter and joy? Does America not see how completely intentionally ridiculous those guys are and get the joke? What the hell, America. What the hell.

Don't hate.  Imitate.  That's what we have to say to you, America.

Remember that time Chris Daughtry got eliminated on American Idol during Elvis Week? Remember the shock and awe you felt watching his hot bald head look confused when they said his name? Now multiply that times 17. That’s my household last night staring at the television screen. And then we’re supposed to go to bed!? Like everything is normal?! As if the world is not standing on its head and gravity has stopped working and every law of nature hasn't just been violated. 

We were still talking about it this morning. My 7 year old blames me for this tragedy because I don't have a Twitter account so we were unable to get that one extra vote in. Seriously.

This kid is not amused, America. 

And is it weird that I sort of chuckled inside when I read about Teresa Guidice and her husband getting indicted for fraud and tax issues. Not like I’m generally in favor of Real Housewives having to go to jail leaving 4 kids at home but I guess I kinda sort thing they are fake as hell and do fuzzy math with their finances no matter how much she denies it.

It’s always sort of puzzled me that her dope of a husband made enough money to support that lifestyle. I look forward to the clear as mud explanation for how they are being unjustly screwed over by some player haters. But he didn’t file taxes for 4 years? Why am I filing income taxes every year if it’s optional? I must have missed the memo on that.