20 Random facts about me:
1. If I am in my house, I am barefoot.
2. If I am in my house putting on shoes, I must be getting ready to go somewhere.
3. My kids know this and automatically stalk me to see if I’m going somewhere fun. “Somewhere fun” translates to Target. It does not translate to grocery shopping or running any productive errand. Announcing we’re taking a trip to the post office is the equivalent of Chinese water torture.
4. I don’t like sleeping with socks on.
5. It has to be cold as hell before I’ll give in and put on socks to sleep in during the winter.
6. My mother is convinced every cold my children have ever gotten is because I don’t make them wear socks in the winter.
7. I do not like long toe nails.
8. I’m confused by anyone with long toe nails that extend beyond the end of their toe. How do they not end up scratching themselves with it? How do they not end up scratching their spouse while they are in bed subjecting their spouse to mandatory cuddle time?
9. I was convinced flip flops were uncomfortable until literally two years ago. I now live in flip flops year round and own 3 different pairs.
10. Even when I lived in dorms in college, I still didn’t give in to flip flops. I wore Addidas slip on shower shoes in the bathroom instead.
11. I can’t stand super cheap $5 plastic flip flops. They chafe. I do not enjoy chafing. Life is too short for $5 cheapo plastic flip flops.
12. I can’t bring myself to subject my kids to super cheap $5 plastic flip flop crap either. I shell out extra money so they have decent flip flops, too.
13. By “shell out extra money” I mean I buy them $20 colorful Crocs brand flip flops. Pretty sure I’ve created flip flop snobs because my daughter tried on a cheap but cute pair at Walmart once and was all confused that they didn’t feel good.
14. My favorite pair of flip flops are Crocs brand. My daughter wore them to the mailbox the other day and commented on how comfy they are.
15. I own 2 pairs of the same style Crocs brand in 2 different colors. I have no idea why I wanted them in the 2nd color since I never color coordinate them with my outfit.
16. I wear the same pair of plain black loafer-y type shoes to work almost everyday.
17. They’re by Anne Klein and they are comfy for a gal on the go at the office without looking too Naturalizer-y.
18. I buy a new pair of black loafer-y type work shoes roughly once a year.
19. I know it’s time to buy a new pair when the other ones are literally falling apart or I find myself kicking them off at my desk all the time because my feet are hurting.
20. One time I literally wore my work shoes out so well that ½ of the sole of my shoe literally came off while walking into my house. My mother is still convinced I should have taken those shoes to a shoe repair place. I’m still convinced it was time to move on with my life and get new shoes.
Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears:
1. If a phone rings in the night, someone must be dead. I developed this fear after my grandparents died suddenly several years ago and I found out by phone. I did not however, find out by phone in the night. But whatever. The first couple years after they died, if the phone rang when I wasn’t expecting a call (even if it was broad daylight), my heart would jump just the tiniest little bit and I’d immediately hope nothing was wrong. It was annoying. Thankfully my memory is sieve and that’s faded over the years.
2. Drowning. Do not play games with me in the pool that involve trying to push me under water or hold me underwater against my will. It will not go well. My brother who was older and stronger than me loved playing that game with me as a kid. Her perfected his technique to the point that he could hold me under right up until that moment when your lungs are about to burst and you are preparing to open your mouth and suck in water. I go into psycho panic mode to this day if I’m held under water. My husband would be glad to tell you about it.
3. Suffocating. Do not play games with me that involve a pillow over my face or shoving my face into a pillow to pretend to suffocate me. It will not go well. My brother didn’t just like to torture my soul in the pool when we were kids. He was an equal opportunity offender and tortured my soul in the living room with sofa cushions, too.
|No one trying to drown anyone. Thumbs up. Too bad we opted for a hairy knee right in the middle of the picture.|
List 10 Things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could:1. Stop begging your mother for Guess jeans with the little zippers on the ankles. They’re not that great. You just want the little triangle label on the butt. I know because you will actually consider taking the label off a pair that doesn’t fit and sewing it onto cheap crappy jeans so people will think they are Guess. That is stupid.
2. Red hair is fun. It’s different but different is good. Red heads aren’t for everyone. But red heads are the only ones for some people. Don’t worry about people that aren’t into them.
3. Joining the tennis team doesn’t count as taking up a sport. Take up something that requires you to sweat periodically. It’ll be good for you. Who knows. Maybe it would make you do something crazy like maintain a healthy active lifestyle and not get to 204 pounds 20 years later.
4. Don’t sign up for physics. That class blows. The teacher is a chauvinist.
5. If your teacher acts like a chauvinist, you should politely point it out to him. So what if he won’t appreciate it. Oh, well.
6. You are not too old to go visit your grandparents in the summer. Your friends will be fine at home without you. Go. Ask them to tell you stories. Take your grandmother to baseball games. She’s scared to drive herself but loves going. Sit in the backyard with your grandpa and discuss the rose and the tomatoes and the birds or just sit there quietly and don’t discuss anything. It may seem like they’ll always be there but they won’t. And when you’re grown up, you won’t be able to remember any of the trips to the movies or bowling or other stupid stuff you goofed off doing with your friends. But you’ll have a million stories from your summers with your grandparents and you’ll tell them over and over again and your kids will love hearing them. So will your mother for that matter.
7. It’s cute that think you want to be a doctor someday. That’s so cute. Dreams are such a wonderful thing. Aren’t they? Too bad you hate chemistry. You can’t out-study your natural tendency to hate it. You hated it Freshman year and that’s not going to change when you get to college. You will just have more homework and harder tests. You are a round peg. Chemistry is a square hole. Give it up now.
8. Don’t perm your hair. You will hate it 2 weeks later and be stuck painstakingly straightening it for three months.
9. Don’t give bangs a whirl. You will hate the whirl 2 weeks later and be stuck growing them out for six months. Bangs are not to be taken lightly. Lesson for life.
10. I know you like those black ankle boots. I know you think they look edgy. Especially with those stupid triangular dangly earrings and the new backpack style purse. Your wrong. Your wearing them with white ankle socks. There is nothing edgy about white ankle socks. The triangular dangly earrings are from Claire’s in the mall. Edgy and Claire’s are mutually exclusive.
|A pretty smile.|