Secrets from our marital bed

My three year old conned my husband into thinking she was sick yesterday. Instead of going to daycare she went with him to run errands, get pancakes at McDonalds and lay in our bed watching television. I'm thinking they watched SportsCenter for several hours. And maybe the history of the eraser. I'd make fun of my husband's taste in television except I actually watched several episodes of Pirate Master. I clearly have no room to talk.

Our three year old must have dozed off at some point during all that quality television viewing. I suspect that because tonight at bedtime she tried to talk me into letting her sleep in our bed instead of hers. I informed her that her father and I barely cram ourselves into our bed and it would be a shame for her to be crushed to death between two idiots jockeying for position in bed.

We share a queen size bed. We are both certifiable bed hogs. He's a broad shouldered fella. His broad shoulders like to encroach on my territory. I'm prone to sleeping at an angle. My legs find their way to his side a lot.

We used to play tug of war with the sheet every night too. I started making the bed with two queen size flat sheets. One for each of us. People think that's odd when I tell them but it's like the best idea we ever came up with. And by "we" I mean me. We've never played tug of war since. For awhile we even had two comforters on the bed. My husband eventually noticed the difference between his comforter and mine. His being bachelor pad 180 thread count sand paper. Mine being 520 thread count snuggly goodness. Next thing you know he's a thread count snob and my duvet is community property.

Every couple months he suggests getting a king size bed. Every couple months I tell him I love him too much to do that. I once read a story about the increased chance of divorce for couples that have a king size instead of a queen or full. My husband's prepared to roll the dice on that risk. I'm prepared to cling to that flimsy story for the next thirty years to maintain the warm fuzzy closeness of our marital bed. Besides, it'll take more than a king size bed for him to escape me.