Today feels like Thursday. Mostly because I seem to be behind and need the weekend to arrive soon so I can catch up. Which is unfortunate since it’s only Tuesday. And everyone in my house is probably going to continue wearing clothing for the rest of the week and thereby increase my overall laundry backlog even more by Saturday. They're very selfish like that. I don't know why I put up with any of them.
I could seriously use a maid. Not to catch up on laundry though. Mostly I wouldn’t mind if she cleaned my toilet and changed my sheets. I don't even want to discuss the last time I changed the sheets around here. Mostly because I can't remember when it was. That's fine when you're a freshman in college but it's kind of disturbing when you're the 33 year old parent that's supposedly in charge.
Speaking of grotesque laundry habits, freshman year of college a guy I knew confessed that he hadn't washed his sheets once the entire year. Nine months. Same sheets. That falls under the general heading of "Holy Cow." He's the same guy that thought he started a long distance relationship with a girl back home only to discover over Thanksgiving that she never thought they'd been dating even before he left. Upon further reflection, maybe there's a connection between those two events.
My husband thinks we need a maid, too. Although his idea of how the maid would work is completely warped. First, he actually told me we'd have to clean up around the house a little before we got a maid. Um. No. That's incorrect.
Second, maids don't come with magic wands. It's not like she can come once a month and put some sort of clutter repelling force field over the house. Our house would look nice the day she's here and then our children would fling crap everywhere and the World's Most Annoying Dog would shred something. For example, the stuffed tiger that got his face ripped off yesterday. I was sad to discover the poor faceless creature but sadder still to discover the poor faceless creature had been stuffed with teeny tiny confetti-ish balls that have now embedded themselves in our carpet until the end of time.
As always, I continue to pray that the World's Most Annoying Dog's true owners will miraculously appear and take him home. As if anyone would be stupid enough to claim that dog. Besides us, obviously.