11.06.2007

Maid wanted

Today feels like Thursday. Mostly because I seem to be behind and need the weekend to arrive soon so I can catch up. Which is unfortunate since it’s only Tuesday. And everyone in my house is probably going to continue wearing clothing for the rest of the week and thereby increase my overall laundry backlog even more by Saturday. They're very selfish like that. I don't know why I put up with any of them.

I could seriously use a maid. Not to catch up on laundry though. Mostly I wouldn’t mind if she cleaned my toilet and changed my sheets. I don't even want to discuss the last time I changed the sheets around here. Mostly because I can't remember when it was. That's fine when you're a freshman in college but it's kind of disturbing when you're the 33 year old parent that's supposedly in charge.

Speaking of grotesque laundry habits, freshman year of college a guy I knew confessed that he hadn't washed his sheets once the entire year. Nine months. Same sheets. That falls under the general heading of "Holy Cow." He's the same guy that thought he started a long distance relationship with a girl back home only to discover over Thanksgiving that she never thought they'd been dating even before he left. Upon further reflection, maybe there's a connection between those two events.

My husband thinks we need a maid, too. Although his idea of how the maid would work is completely warped. First, he actually told me we'd have to clean up around the house a little before we got a maid. Um. No. That's incorrect.

Second, maids don't come with magic wands. It's not like she can come once a month and put some sort of clutter repelling force field over the house. Our house would look nice the day she's here and then our children would fling crap everywhere and the World's Most Annoying Dog would shred something. For example, the stuffed tiger that got his face ripped off yesterday. I was sad to discover the poor faceless creature but sadder still to discover the poor faceless creature had been stuffed with teeny tiny confetti-ish balls that have now embedded themselves in our carpet until the end of time.

As always, I continue to pray that the World's Most Annoying Dog's true owners will miraculously appear and take him home. As if anyone would be stupid enough to claim that dog. Besides us, obviously.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

your husbands right on this one, i would so have to "straighten up" before the maid came. Thats sad.


Love the dog by the way. Ours is most annoying dog ever. she loves to get under your feet and trip you, i think she thinks its a game or something. But The Boy loves her, and she loves him so i guess she is here to stay.

::mental note to self:: blog about the annoying dog!

Lotus (Sarcastic Mom) said...

Oh, to have a live-in maid, that would clean every day... that someone else would pay....

Anonymous said...

mama loves - I have clearly missed the boat on this cleaning up before the maid comes thing. Does not compute in my brain. And our daughter loves the annoying dog too. My husband says that's why we can't get rid of it but I think secretly he still hasn't given up on trying to train him.

saracastic mom - Dude! Yes! Live in and free! And if she could be invisible too that'd be awesome.

Deb said...

just found your blog through NaBloPoMo and love it! you are a wonderful writer. as for the dog, I'm sorry....if you're a reader you'd probably enjoying laughing outloud at the commonalities between your dog and Marley: http://www.marleyandme.com/

Anonymous said...

Thanks! The World's Most Annoying Dog tries my patience. Hopefully your dog is more like our other dog, Ike, perfect and brilliant. The annoying one is just our penance for getting such a great dog.

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