The price of sanity is $200 and it's for sale at Target

Saturday night I had the motherhood equivalent of a mental breakdown. It was probably 90% lack of sleep, 6% stuff getting shredded daily by the World's Most Annoying Dog, 3% screaming toddler and 1% I really want to move to a new house but can't figure out when it will ever happen. My breakdown culminated in a tearful long distance phone call to my husband while I sat in the garage trying to avoid the newest 4 year old. Because when I babble incoherently into the phone I prefer to pretend I'm alone.

Too bad that 4 year old's like human On Star and immediately tracked me down. So I told her to close the door and go back inside. Technically I might have shrieked it like a banshee but whatever. Let it go. I have.

Then my baby closed the door, dragged a chair over to watch me through the window and periodically tapped on the glass. I know it's sweet that's she's concerned about me. But seriously, it's called needing a moment. I should have hid in a closet instead. Not a little closet with clothes hanging all around me. Because that would be pathetic and sorta creepy. I'm thinking a nice well lit walk in closet. You know, because sitting in a well lit walk in closet is infinitely more normal.

Anyway, my blubbering was mostly a laundry list of tearful complaints that included the house, the annoying dog, the laundry, my weight, the neighborhood, the kids, a lost remote and the color of the sky. My personal favorite was the lost remote. The man's 600 miles away. The odds of him finding it for me are slim.

My husband talked me down from the ledge and suggested I get more sleep. Then he sent out the equivalent of the bat signal and my dad came over to babysit today. Leaving the house without your children probably shouldn't be that awesome but I'm okay with the fact that it was. 5 hours without checking anyone's diaper and $200 in crap from Target and I thought maybe I could last another couple days until my husband gets home.

I even went to a store that doesn't have shopping carts. And I tried on clothes for myself. In the store. There was even a lady in the dressing room area to go get you stuff if you needed a different size. Not that I'm the sort of girl capable of asking a complete stranger to get me stuff let alone tell them my size but still.

And there were cookies outside the dressing room. On a little doily on a silver tray. Which seems like a bit much because who needs cookies when you're trying to cram yourself into jeans and catching glimpses of your flabby stomach under fluorescent lighting. But knowing the cookies are there is sort of pampering all by itself. Which is like the polar opposite of leaning into the backseat of your car to wrestle a screaming kid into a car seat. Which makes seeing cookies on a doily a really nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon.


Shan said...

That's great your husband recognized a distress call when he heard it. Kudos to him. Sounds like you had a nice day.

Angie said...

My husband can't work that kind of magic when he's 600 feet away, let alone 600 miles. Glad you had a good day!

Mrs. Who said...

I have recently discovered Target shopping after seeing it raved about everywhere on the blog world and I have a ball there. Spending $200 at Target could make any day a happy one.

Ree said...

Bravo to Mr. Happier Girl.

no way said...

the part about the store with no shopping carts is what got me. shopping carts are a critical deciding factor when choosing a store, and one of the reasons we have to go to the crappy mall with the free "car" carts for kids. today we went to famous footwear (no carts) and we were like a human tornado, ripping through the store and destroying their shoe displays. in heavy coats, with poopy diapers. it was awful. needless to say, we did not get ONE easter outfit, which was what we set out to do.

anyhow, i hear you. hope you're feeling better.

Jerseygirl89 said...

Sounds like you had a much deserved day off. And I want to know if the store that had the cookies is a chain and if there's one near me.

Anne said...

I completely understand the shopping cart comment; I thought I reached a new low when I was trying on clothes with my kids with a cart in the changing room. We need plates with cookies on them every now and then.

Childlife said...

Hope things are going a little better there... I feel for you. And not that I would wish distress on anyone (particularly someone who so frequently makes me laugh 'till my eyes water), but I find it oddly comforting to know that I'm not the only one babbling incoherently and sobbing over random stuff at the moment. That probably makes me evil or something... *sigh*

Hope your hubby gets back soon - It's never fun to man those trenches solo.

a happier girl said...

Shan - I know! He's a smart guy!

angie - Thanks! It was a very good move on his part!

mrs who - Wow! I can't imagine how much fun it must have been to discover all the stuff at Target if you'd never been there before! What a treat! I'm glad you discovered it! And yes, dropping cash at Target makes any day a happy day.

ree - Right! I know! Mad props to him on the bat signal.

no way - I know! I love places with shopping carts. Unfortunately, the 4 year old won't always sit in one anymore and has discovered that it's fun to run around the clothing racks and give me a heart attack when I think I've lost her.

jerseygirl - It's really not that fancy of a store and it is a chain. It was SteinMart. I'd only shopped there once before and never noticed all this doily cookie business.

anne - That's too funny! Taking the whole cart into the dressing room with you. Although I'm with you. Because if they're not in the cart you have to worry about them crawling under the door or trying to look under other people's doors.

childlife - Oh, I don't think that makes you evil at all. I always think it's nice to know I'm not the only one. So don't feel bad at all!

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