Two weeks ago I wrote about my indecisiveness regarding a potential job. My solution was to put in for it just in case and decide later if I wanted it. I think my plan even involved waiting until I was on the phone scheduling the interview to decide. Right. Yeah. So there was no interview. Yesterday I got congratulated on the new position by my boss in the middle of a big meeting. I had no clue what she was talking about. Because I was still waiting to get invited for an interview.
And then I find out I'm assigned to a whole new divison and there's an office picked out for me and a project for me to oversee and everyone's excited and there's applause and in my head all I can think is, "Huh? What just happened here?"
I was supposed to have time to try out the cushy new job and see how I like it. My plan was to compare the jobs and see which one I liked better. But that's no longer possible. I just have to decide. And soon. Because this job has turned into a giant snowball rolling down a hill getting bigger and further out of my reach with every second. Putting the breaks on it at this point will require a sit down chat with some higher ups. Higher ups I've come to find out actually bickered over who would get me. I know. That's kinda awesome. Unless you're not sure you want the job. Because then it's setting the stage for massive awkwardness.
Two job opportunities is a good problem to have. Plenty of people would like to have this problem. But I'm so unsure. Tragically unsure. My head starts to pound every time I start weighing my options. And I might be developing lock jaw from clenching my teeth. It's not comfy but I'd be okay with my jaw locking shut completely for a few days. Might help reduce my caloric intake. And boy does my caloric intake need to go down.
Yesterday a coworker asked me if I was pregnant again or just gaining weight. Um. I'm sorry. Did you just call me a filthy pig or was that my imagination? Because that's what I heard inside my head. For that matter my twisted brain also read into that comment that you think I need to get myself to a Weight Watchers because I'm not wearing the extra 30 pounds well. Whatever. Like I have time to fix that problem today. I've got enough on my mind. Although I'm filing it away for next week so I can stress out about it when I have more time. Because what the hell.