That snowball rolling down the hill is my life

Two weeks ago I wrote about my indecisiveness regarding a potential job. My solution was to put in for it just in case and decide later if I wanted it. I think my plan even involved waiting until I was on the phone scheduling the interview to decide. Right. Yeah. So there was no interview. Yesterday I got congratulated on the new position by my boss in the middle of a big meeting. I had no clue what she was talking about. Because I was still waiting to get invited for an interview.

And then I find out I'm assigned to a whole new divison and there's an office picked out for me and a project for me to oversee and everyone's excited and there's applause and in my head all I can think is, "Huh? What just happened here?"

I was supposed to have time to try out the cushy new job and see how I like it. My plan was to compare the jobs and see which one I liked better. But that's no longer possible. I just have to decide. And soon. Because this job has turned into a giant snowball rolling down a hill getting bigger and further out of my reach with every second. Putting the breaks on it at this point will require a sit down chat with some higher ups. Higher ups I've come to find out actually bickered over who would get me. I know. That's kinda awesome. Unless you're not sure you want the job. Because then it's setting the stage for massive awkwardness.

Two job opportunities is a good problem to have. Plenty of people would like to have this problem. But I'm so unsure. Tragically unsure. My head starts to pound every time I start weighing my options. And I might be developing lock jaw from clenching my teeth. It's not comfy but I'd be okay with my jaw locking shut completely for a few days. Might help reduce my caloric intake. And boy does my caloric intake need to go down.

Yesterday a coworker asked me if I was pregnant again or just gaining weight. Um. I'm sorry. Did you just call me a filthy pig or was that my imagination? Because that's what I heard inside my head. For that matter my twisted brain also read into that comment that you think I need to get myself to a Weight Watchers because I'm not wearing the extra 30 pounds well. Whatever. Like I have time to fix that problem today. I've got enough on my mind. Although I'm filing it away for next week so I can stress out about it when I have more time. Because what the hell.


no way said...

There is something wrong with the woman who asked you if you were pregnant or just gaining weight. That's not right.

My husband is in a similar situation at work. He is also being "politely advised" to take a higher position. He is really unsure and stressed. I think he should do it, although I know it's not for me to decide, and I don't want it to take him away from us more than he already is. We really like having him around!

This is a hard one...I (sort of) know where you're coming from.

Chaotic Joy said...

Okay. What?? Who says that to someone? Some people are unbelievable.

I am sure you will make a fine decision on your job. It seemed to me (if I am remembering correctly) that this job might be the one you were leaning towards anyway, because of the chances for future advancement.

So, have I mentioned lately how much you make laugh. I look forward to reading you every day even if I never do make it out of google-reader to comment.

Chaotic Joy said...

Oh. And was it you that did a post on trying to locate cute microwavable/diswasher save PLASTIC plates. And linked a bunch pictures of plates. Because I am on a hunt.

If it wasn't you, please excuse me for thinking you would post about plates. heh.

Chaotic Joy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Ugh. Job decisions are so very hard. And I agree, there's something worng with that woman who asked you if you were pregnant. Unbelievable!

Good luck with your decision.

Caroline Bender said...

Be brave, young businesswomen, we are here for you.


One meeting at a time.....

a happier girl said...

no way - Right!?! What possesses someone to ask that? And "politely advised" is funny. I've been politely advised of things as well. I love when people attempt to be discreet. Cracks me up.

joy - I know! I appreciate you taking offense on my behalf! You are officially the sweetest ever. And, yes, I did post about plastic plates. It's under the shopping category. The link to the post about the plates I found is:
We're still using our Ikea plates my mother in law gave us as well as a bunch of Wal-Mart ones she gave us that are exactly like our old ones. They work great and have been holding up well.

Laura - Thanks. Job stuff is hard. The snowball is still rolling down the hill but I think I'll finalize my decision over the weekend. Not to mention finalize a plan to minimize looking pregnant to thoughtless coworkers.

caroline - Thanks! I appreciate the support.

Christy said...

I am slightly baffled by how there was no interview, and everything seems to be set up...before you formally accepted anything. If handing in a resume means you automatically agree to take a job, I would have been in big trouble.

Good luck with the decision.

a happier girl said...

Right! I know. I wish there was a photo of my face as I listened to all these plans that had been put in place. I'm sure I looked like a deer in the headlights.

Deb said...

Congrats on the job opp...even though you're still unsure, it's nice to have the accolades and support of your colleagues. I don't know what means you're using to decide, but I've used something called the Ignatius method of discernment countless times and recommend it to everyone. I blogged about it once, so instead of rewriting...here it is: http://pastoradeb.blogspot.com/2007/02/discernment.html

it's a silly example there, but I've used it to chose schools, work, dates, etc....maybe it could be helpful for you.

obviously the time frame thing won't work, but do what you can with it.

a happier girl said...

I have to say I've never heard of that method. But I went and read the explanation you linked to and I liked it. You explained it really well. And by really well I mean made it simple for those of us that get lost easily. I'll have to try it out to make my decision. Thanks for the link!

Carlo said...

Good Job! :)

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