Secrets from our marital bathroom

One of the idiotic games I like to play with my husband is stalking him around the house. I used to just periodically trail along behind him going from room to room. Eventually I upped the ante and began appearing in the shower behind him fully clothed.

My husband enjoys his bathroom. If this house is his castle, the toilet is his throne. He reads in there. Makes phone calls. Assembles bookcases with one hand in the dark while curing cancer.

He also likes to announce when he's going to visit the throne. It's generally sometime after dinner. When the newest 4 year old was little she'd follow him in there. Then one day it seemed like a funny joke to cram our entire household into the tiny bathroom with them. Two dogs, two kids and me. The Rottweiler put his face in my husband's lap while I stood over him discussing the weather.

It became a running joke. We called them Family Meetings and the newest 4 year old would periodically announce them and gather the dogs up herself. And sometimes she'd run ahead to make sure we didn't get locked out:

The lock on our hall bathroom door is very difficult to pick. Not that I've tried. Or succeeded. I'm just saying if someone was going to pick that lock it looks like it'd be pretty hard. It might even require taking the entire doorknob off. Just saying.

Although banging on the door is fun, it doesn't always work. So one time we wrote a note and slid it under the door. Sort of like a ransom note. Only without any kidnappers or requests for money. So really it's nothing like a ransom note but it was funny. So we taped it to the back of the bathroom door for posterity:

Nothing says "Hang out at our house!" like weird notes taped to the back of the bathroom door. Fortunately, we're practically recluses so it's not a problem. Although my in-laws did stay with us last week. But they're very familiar with our special brand of crazy and that note is the least of their worries.