1.04.2008

Secrets from our marital bathroom

One of the idiotic games I like to play with my husband is stalking him around the house. I used to just periodically trail along behind him going from room to room. Eventually I upped the ante and began appearing in the shower behind him fully clothed.

My husband enjoys his bathroom. If this house is his castle, the toilet is his throne. He reads in there. Makes phone calls. Assembles bookcases with one hand in the dark while curing cancer.

He also likes to announce when he's going to visit the throne. It's generally sometime after dinner. When the newest 4 year old was little she'd follow him in there. Then one day it seemed like a funny joke to cram our entire household into the tiny bathroom with them. Two dogs, two kids and me. The Rottweiler put his face in my husband's lap while I stood over him discussing the weather.

It became a running joke. We called them Family Meetings and the newest 4 year old would periodically announce them and gather the dogs up herself. And sometimes she'd run ahead to make sure we didn't get locked out:

The lock on our hall bathroom door is very difficult to pick. Not that I've tried. Or succeeded. I'm just saying if someone was going to pick that lock it looks like it'd be pretty hard. It might even require taking the entire doorknob off. Just saying.

Although banging on the door is fun, it doesn't always work. So one time we wrote a note and slid it under the door. Sort of like a ransom note. Only without any kidnappers or requests for money. So really it's nothing like a ransom note but it was funny. So we taped it to the back of the bathroom door for posterity:

Nothing says "Hang out at our house!" like weird notes taped to the back of the bathroom door. Fortunately, we're practically recluses so it's not a problem. Although my in-laws did stay with us last week. But they're very familiar with our special brand of crazy and that note is the least of their worries.

9 comments:

Lindy said...

Ok, I think I broke a rib laughing at this one. Your four-year-old ninja kicking the door in just about did me in. That and the thought of all of you hovering in there including the rottweiler as you discussed the 7-day forecast. I believe I now have a theory about why the master bath remodel is taking so long... your husband is secretly building it into a safe room...

Anonymous said...

Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Oh my! I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! Seriously! This was awesome! Finally I found someone as crazy as my family!! :) Good work.

Deb said...

this was awesome! probably my favorite blog post of the day! it was inspiring too...someday when I have a husband and kids...we're SO doing that!

Anonymous said...

childlife - Glad you enjoyed it. And your theory about the master bathroom made me laugh. Luckily, the door know on that bathroom opens with a clothes hanger. Not that I would know.

ree - Thanks!

agirl - I'm glad we're not the only crazy people out there!

deb - Do it. Seriously. It's funny. We laugh a lot at our house.

~Amber~ said...

Oh my gosh! I am dying laughing reading this post! I needed this, it made my day!

a happier girl said...

I'm glad it brightened you're day! Thanks!

Shalene said...

Too funny! Usually, when my hubby goes into the bathroom, he locks the door (he only uses the front bathroom for "long term visits") and he won't even answer if we knock. He just refuses. It's his way of saying..."Leave me alone. I'm busy!" :) But...when he's in the master bathroom, taking a shower, I go in there often and just sit on the cedar chest that we have in there as a bench, and talk to him. I love to watch what I call his shower dance. He lathers up all over and spends the next 10 minutes trying to get all the soap off. I've heard other wives say their husbands do this too, is that true? Do they all use way too much soap for what they need to clean? (You know when their covered from head to toe in white bubbles an inch thick?) :) Although, we do do other things in the bathroom too. If you'd like to check out a funny video of us dancing in the master bathroom after bath time with the little ones, check this out...http://christianhumor1.blogspot.com/2008/01/funny-dance.html It's from my hubby's blog. Blessings to you!

Anonymous said...

I love that you go in the bathroom and talk to him while he showers! That's so sweet! I do that too! Although we've never danced in our bathroom. But maybe that's because there's no space. And my husband goes crazy with the soap too! It's beyond me why men feel the need to lather up that much.

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