Don't judge me for brainstroming Halloween costumes in September

This morning I feel as though I have everything in the world going on and nothing at all. At the same time no less. That’s odd, right? I think it’s that I have so many things that I think I should be working on but not really sure how to proceed so I’m sort of idling in neutral. Yesterday I idled in neutral all day with the exception of a trip to the grocery store.

One of my big idling issues is the newest Kindergartener’s upcoming 5th birthday. I had wanted to do a full fledged party for her this year as opposed to just cake with family but she’s only been at her new school a few weeks now and I’m worried other parents won’t be invested enough to bring their kids. Not that I’m a party hag, but if my kid’s not really friends with the your kid, I don’t really feel obligated to waste my Saturday at your kid’s party. I’m sure your kid is awesome and I’m sure the party you’re throwing him will be awesome. But seriously, it’s Saturday. I enjoy doing nothing sometimes.

My husband is also headed out of town again. This time I suppose it’s a more worthy cause than usual. He’ll be heading to South Texas to provide post Hurricane Ike assistance. He was in New Orleans a week after Katrina, too. He stayed a month. Much like that time, he’s not sure when he'll be home. The joy of being married to him never ends. And yes, it is ironic that he's the one sleeping in condemned buildings and eating MREs for a month but I'm the one complaining. Whatever.

So my point is, he’ll be out of town and I won’t really have a lot of time for party planning anyway. Time for watching reality television and writing on my blog? Clearly. Time for convincing myself that going to Chuck E. Cheese won’t kill me? Minimal. And what if he’s not back in time for the party? Talk about wanting to fling myself into a wood chipper.

Besides, we’ll be doing the party with her class. That’s going to include baking and decorating our own cupcakes and giving all the kids in the class some stuff made in China. I should definitely get some credit for that. I’m even done shopping for presents. Primarily because I’ve been stockpiling ideas on my Amazon wishlist for months. See it. Like it. Wish list it. Go, me.

Next weekend I’m going to seal the deal on preparations by making letters out of cute scrapbook paper like last year. I’ve decided to make it a tradition. So far she’s has three different versions of her name taped to her bedroom wall. I’m kicking myself for not doing it the other year. But it’s okay. When she’s 30 and I’m mailing her birthday letters cross country to her, it’s unlikely she’ll remember the lack of handmade letters on her second birthday. The dog shaped cake about gave me carpel tunnel as it was so let’s all let that year go.

I already bought an assortment of pretty pink paper including some with sparkles. It’s going to be killer. I may or may not let the wrecking crew in the room with me while I work on it. Like I really have a choice. Unless I lock myself in the bathroom and sit on the toilet while I cut them out but that seems sort of beneath even me.

The other thing that’s “haunting my brain but not urgent enough to act on” is trying to decide on Halloween costumes. I know. I should really get a life and stop contemplating Halloween costumes in mid September. But last year, my life involved rush delivery. I’ve learned my lesson. Chapter 1 was "Start early." Next year, will be Chapter 2 titled “Don’t even look at what Pottery Barn Kids is selling because it will make the costume aisle at Target that much more disappointing in comparison.” This year it's too late. I've already gazed upon the cuteness that is their banana. Try not to think about the fact that it's $69. Instead picture my husband dressed as a giant gorilla holding the banana. I think my life would be complete if I could witness that kind of cuteness. Of course, I’d have to kill myself in shame after spending $69 on something so frivolously non essential but maybe it would be worth it. Maybe not.

I had resigned myself to shopping for princess costumes for my daughter this year. She’s been boring me to tears with her princess obsession so it was a no brainer. Except then she heard her brother and I discussing being a posse of cowboys and now she’d rather die than allow anyone to dress alike without including her. I wasn’t even trying to play them against each other. I swear I wasn’t. I was really planning to buy the princess outfit. I didn’t even try to sway her. In fact, if she wanted to be Ariel, I’d already contemplated underwater themed costumes for the rest of us. Imagine my surprise when she demanded to not be a princess. Score!

My daughter’s only requirement appears to be that someone else be the same thing as her. That sort of rules out the Village People again this year which is okay because it'll be better when the 2 year old is old enough to learn the dance and do it in unison with the rest of us anyway. I'm not saying I'm the sort of parent to stage that sort of choreographed video and upload it to YouTube. I'm just saying don't look for it until next year.

After explaining the dress alike restriction for our costume theme, my husband suggested the Wizard of Oz. I don't recall there being 2 Glendas but even weirder than that he claims he’s willing to dress up as the Tin Man. Dude doesn't like anything remotely over the top. This must have been said in a sappy moment before leaving town. I particularly enjoyed the part where he claimed he’d be willing to make his own costume out of a box and some tin foil. I’m not sure if he was planning to scrape that thing together from Hurricane debris or what but we’ll never find out because I already did a Wizard of Oz theme. Dude's memory must be a sieve to forget our one year old in pig tails with sparkly red shoes from Target. So cute it nearly killed people. Don’t believe me? Fine:

I warned you. So anyway, I’m contemplating a lot of stupid stuff but doing nothing. I think that could very well be the story of my life. Eh. At least I made it to the grocery store.