I've eaten turkey 4 times already and it's not even Thanksgiving yet

I attended not one but two Thanksgiving parties today. I dined with the sticky fingered preschool set first and then jogged across the school to eat more turkey with my favorite first grader.

Earlier this week my passive aggressive colleagues and I dined on upgraded turkey at my office Thanksgiving spread. I then served office Thanksgiving spread leftovers to my family for dinner. Free leftovers being the only perk of being in charge of organizing an office Thanksgiving spread. The downsides being annoying stuffing versus dressing debates and people asking the day afterward when the Christmas spread will be. Nothing sparks more discussion in my office than food. Hold a shindig with no cake and you'll never hear the end of it. My team won a free pizza party recently and the discussion about when it would be and where to order the pizza from took 10 minutes. It included a sidebar about the correct toppings to order. I'm not joking. It's a miracle we manage to get any work done.

But I digress.

So I brought home the leftovers from the passive aggressive upgraded Thanksgiving lunch spread. Not so much because it was free but because I felt bad letting it go to waste. I've been serving cheese and cracker appetizers to the kids every night since while I make dinner. I also try to serve leftover stuffing with everything. You'd be surprised what a tough sell it is when you're serving spaghetti for dinner.

For anyone keeping score at home, that's 4 times I've eaten turkey and the fixings with Thanksgiving still six days away. That has significantly reduced the chances of anyone sitting down to a turkey dinner at our funky mismatched table this year.

In fact, just thinking about turkey makes me feel full. That makes me wish the smell of turkey could be spritzed on like perfume and worn all day to keep the munchies at bay. Just imagine how many crumpled one dollar bills I'd save if I didn't feel the need to trek to the vending machine in the break room to see if they have animal crackers. Imagine the bowls full of Kit Kats I'd be able to walk past without grazing on. I might smell like turkey but I'd be richer and thinner. It's an idea.